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ZERO PLUS ~by Jane

 

Episode Eight: Relena Darlian Remembers

 

Sen was slumped forward in her seat, her skin moist with perspiration. Her black hair was stuck to the back of her neck and the side of her face, and her whole body felt weak and shaky. She felt like she was going to vomit.

       He was not my enemy, her mind informed her calmly. Or maybe it was Zero.... But no, everything in the gundam seemed to have gone dead, as though Siva had shut itself down in self-defense. Or maybe, in her defense.

       “Kali-Mata... I killed him...” she whispered, her eyes frozen wide; why was she suddenly incapable of blinking? She began grabbing at her hair. “I can’t... I won’t believe it!” she rasped in a painfully choked whisper; there was no moisture in her throat or mouth.

       She wrenched her head up to look at the screen. Where was he? Had even the shrapnel been blown to bits? What had happened?

      

       Trowa glanced at the readout screen. Duo Maxwell had progressed fairly quickly to Level Two. His scores were only slightly lower than Sen’s and practically equal to his own. “Hm,” said Trowa. “Not bad.”

 

       Moira was watching Heero intently. Level Four already? Amazing. She’d never seen anyone plow through the first three levels so quickly. It must, Moira realized, be all the experience he’s had using the Wing Zero’s system. She wondered vaguely what his Level Four battle consisted of, not that it mattered too much. Levels Four and Five were just warm-ups. It was Level Six, the final battle, that would make or break a man.

 

       What in the world is she doing? he wondered.

       The Siva was just hanging there in space. One moment she’d been plowing towards him at breakneck speed, then she’d inexplicably stopped short, and the suit had apparently gone dead. Strange.

       Wu Fei opened a universal frequency. What exactly, though, should he say in such a situation? “Hey,” he said. “Liu Sen? What’re you doing over there, huh? Answer me!”

       Silence. Wu Fei’s frown deepened and he tried again. “Listen. If this is some kind of crazy trick--”

       An image appeared on the screen before him. A square had opened up: it was Liu Sen. For once, she’d established video contact. He peered at her. She looked different somehow. He couldn’t pin it down exactly, but there was a shining quality to her eyes. They looked remarkably bright and clear. And her face no longer had that hardened, defeated look to it. Instead, she appeared almost peaceful.

       Then he realized what must have happened. She had experienced the hallucinogenic side of the Zero System, and it had given her clarifying information.

       “You’re alive,” Sen remarked. As soon as she’d seen that her destruction of Altron had only been a hallucination, she’d regained control almost instantly. After all, she’d never killed anyone before. It had affected her quite differently than she’d imagined it would.

       “True. I assume I have Zero to thank for that?”

       Sen smirked at him. “Yes. Zero showed me some very amusing things.”

       Because Sen always spoke in such a deadpan tone, it was difficult to tell when she was being sarcastic. Wu Fei studied her carefully. “Well? Shall we continue our battle?”

       Sen’s face went blank again. “You and I shouldn’t be fighting,” she said seriously.

       He raised an eyebrow. “Is that right? Hm. What makes you say that?”

       “I understand now. This whole battle was theoretically a huge mistake, but it had to be fought, or I never would have known. What I mean is... this all happened because of a simple misunderstanding between us.” Sen paused. “You do agree with me, don’t you?”

       Wu Fei frowned, trying to figure out the best way to explain it to her. “I... had hoped it would turn out that we wouldn’t have to fight each other,” he admitted. If he was ever going to get the whole truth from her, he realized he’d have to be entirely honest as well. “But I wasn’t wrong--”

       “Listen first,” she broke in. “For some reason, you and I both focused on the worst aspects of the other’s personality and we set each other off. But we really do have the same goals, so we should be allies. I realize you have no reason to trust me at this point, but--”

       “The same goals?” he interrupted, and his expression darkened. “Are you crazy? You’re stealing gundams and selling them to some underground organization for your own--”

       “Will you just shut up a minute and listen to me, dammit? What I was trying to say is that I understand you have no reason to trust me, but that’s my fault. I hid the whole truth from you... because I was ashamed.”

       Wu Fei peered at her. “What were you ashamed of?”

       She didn’t say anything for a moment. “Listen... this is very hard for me to say out loud...” Suddenly she slammed her fist against the wall of her gundam. “Dammit,” she said again. “Why am I such a coward?”

       “Coward? You? I’d hardly--”

       “I was afraid,” she cut in. “I... I’m afraid of... Moira. I know she probably fooled you completely with her mindless damsel victim act, but that’s just a trick she uses to manipulate people, because she knows it’s the way everyone assumes her to be, especially men.

       “But it’s a facade; do you understand what I’m saying? You called me calculating and deceitful. Well, if that’s the case, it’s only because I learned from the master, as they say. Yes, I can build mecha and hack into military computers, but I’m not canny. Not like her. She’s always three steps ahead of me... I can’t match her cunning. She can control me that way: since I can’t outsmart her, I’m afraid of going against her orders, you see.

       “So I figured that if I had to go along with the plan, well, at least do it for me, too. Get something out of it. Why should I care about you five, as long as I get enough money to escape her for good, right?”

       Wu Fei said nothing; he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to believe her. (Why do I want to believe her? he asked himself irately.) On the other hand, most of his assumptions of late had been so far off the mark, he was now beginning to second-guess himself.

       “I didn’t want to say it out loud, you see,” Sen went on, since he hadn’t responded. “So I decided to leave that part out. I didn’t think it mattered, since at that point I no longer planned on going through with selling the gundams. At first, when I got Trowa and Heavyarms, I tried to remove myself from the situation and only worry about me.” Sen made a face. “But that damn Maxwell guy...” She trailed off. “Anyway, now you know the truth. I’m a coward, and I hate myself for it. So if you still want to kill me, it’s fine; I’m ready. I just don’t want you to think I’m a liar.” She hesitated. “I don’t know why that matters to me, but it does.”

       Thus the private vow he’d made to himself evaporated like a snowflake on embers. He said, “I’m not going to kill you. I meant it when I said it before, but only in that moment. I don’t have any interest in killing you, now that you’ve finally told me the truth.”

       Sen’s eyes widened. “You mean you believe me?”

       I must be a complete idiot, he thought. Out loud, he replied: “Of course.”

       Sen glanced away for a moment, as though she was trying to conceal some kind of emotion. She looked at him again and said, “Then there’s one more thing I have to say. I’ve already forgiven you for the things you said to me; I think I understand why it happened now. I can only hope that you’ll forgive me for the things I said to you.”

       Wu Fei closed his eyes and shook his head. “It’s forgotten. We won’t speak of it again.”

       She almost smiled at that. Almost. “As for our fight... how about we call it a draw?”

       He hesitated. “Fine. A draw.”

       Sen nodded, then frowned. “I’ll come back to turn myself in, but there’s one other thing to do first. Zero told me something else: I still have a chance to rectify my mistakes.” Sen hesitated. “That Duo Maxwell... he sort of helped me out, in his own distinctive way. So I’ll return the gesture: in my own distinctive way.”

       Wu Fei stared at her. “You mean he’s alive?”

       “They all are. Or were, at least... Good luck in life, Wu Fei. In spite of everything, I’m glad I met you.” She bowed her head slightly, and the screen blinked out. He saw the Siva power up, and start to turn away from him.

       “Wait,” he said, over the universal audio frequency.

       “What is it?”

       Wu Fei paused again. “You’ll probably need assistance,” he said curtly. “So I’d better accompany you.”

       In her Siva, Liu Sen was again smirking a little, but it was because she was pleased. “Well,” she said, a touch of irony coloring her usually blank voice, “how can I refuse such a heartfelt offer as that?”

 

       Moira glanced at the readout screen. He was still on Level Four. She regarded him coolly, downing the last of her wine. It was clear that even the “perfect soldier,” superhuman Heero Yuy, was being put under a great deal of strain by Zero Plus. And her superiors had doubted the System’s worth? Well, this would certainly prove her case. When she returned the boy to them as a loyal soldier, ready to either kill or die for their cause...

       Just then, the view screen alert beeped. Startled, Moira set her glass on the Zero Plus machine and pulled a remote control out of her pocket, pointing it at the screen and turning it on. Two blank faces appeared before her.

       “Mr. Tavey. Ms. Smirnov,” Moira said, surprised.

       “Status, Miss Devlin,” Tavey said abruptly and without preamble.

       “Heero Yuy is progressing very quickly through the program,” Moira told them. “And Tr-- er, Zero Three, is putting the Sweepers’ boy through the program as well. Quatre Winner is recovering nicely, and Liu Sen is off battling Chang Wu Fei.”

       Smirnov narrowed her eyes. “He can’t kill her, Miss Devlin. We need her as a scapegoat. Of course she did betray you, just as we predicted.”

       “Indicating,” Tavey went on, “that there are flaws inherent in the System.”

       “Just because Sen was planning on selling the gundams doesn’t mean she’s betrayed me,” Moira said, defensively. “She still carried out the mission to capture the pilots--”

       “On her own terms,” Tavey broke in. “We don’t want our weapons doing things they weren’t ordered to do. Frankly, we still have serious doubts about the usefulness of this ‘Zero Plus.’ ”

       “Well, perhaps Sen is an exception; she was, after all, the first test subject. But it seems to be working better now than ever. Zero Three nearly shot down one of his own comrades without a second thought. And I’m certain you’ll find a single-mindedness in the new Heero Yuy that even Doctor J hadn’t fully achieved, in spite of his unique training methods.” Moira hesitated. “Incidentally... with regard to Zero Three...”

       Tavey gave a dismissive wave. “We’re not all that concerned. Do with him what you will. We’re only interested in Zero One.”

       “What about Quatre Winner?” Moira asked.

       “We’ve been debating how best to use him for a time now,” Smirnov said. “As it stands, we believe he’ll be worth much more dead than alive when it comes to public opinion. He’s almost as beloved as the Darlian girl. The people will be demanding Liu Sen’s head if he should come to harm.”

       “You want me to kill him, then?”

       “Preferably, Miss Liu should be the one to do it, don’t you think?” Tavey said. “She is the straw man in all of this. And we’re still very concerned about the issue of Sen’s loyalty to you. Now that your uncle has quite abruptly taken himself out of the picture, she is the only one left to take the fall.”

       “Don’t worry about Sen, please. After all, corpses can be blamed for misdeeds much easier than the living. You see, I gave that Chang Wu Fei a tape recording of her discussing the purchase of gundams with you, Ms. Smirnov-- after manipulating your voice to disguise it, of course. So I’m certain he’s already made up his mind who his enemy is. In fact, if he kills her, all the better. We’ll put him through the program, and that will be one more soldier for the army.”

       “Very well, Miss Devlin. We’ll trust your judgment. Once you’ve delivered Zero One to us, and any other pilot you happen to have, see to it that the Siva gundams are dismantled and destroyed. And if Miss Liu lives, be sure that at least one of the pilots sees her kill Zero Four. If not, have Zero Three do it. Then you may do what you wish.”

       “I understand. And I thank you; you have no idea how much this all means to me.”

       Tavey and Smirnov nodded once, and the screen went black.

 

       “Do you have a plan for when we get there?” Wu Fei wanted to know as Altron and Siva hurtled themselves towards Moira’s vessel.

       “Only this. When we get on board, it’ll be your job to find Duo and the others. I’m going after Moira.”

       Moira, he suddenly realized, is Sen’s version of Treize. “Are you sure you want to be the one to face her?” he began.

       “Don’t argue with me, Wu Fei,” Sen answered firmly. “That’s how it has to be.”

       For your sake, I hope Moira stays dead once you kill her, Wu Fei thought darkly, and, sensing that he was about to send himself into another depression, quickly focused on something else. “All right. If that’s what you want. But what I meant was, do you have an attack strategy of some kind?”

       “Not... as such,” Sen admitted. “I’m working on it. For now, just remember that Moira’s smarter than she looks and acts. So don’t assume this will be easy. I’m sure she’s expecting at least one of us.”

       “Couldn’t you just bring me on board as a prisoner? Then I could free the others, and--”

       “No, you don’t understand. She already knows I’ve betrayed her, I’m sure of it. You see, I never had Duo use the battle simulator with the Zero Plus in it like I was supposed to. That guy... I don’t know. He was just babbling about this friend of his, to save his own skin of course, but... I couldn’t do it. Not after I saw what Zero Plus did to Trowa and myself.” She paused. “And... there’s just something so honest and genuine about him. And I treated him horribly, but he still knew I didn’t mean it. I never knew people could be like that. Do you know if he’s empathic?”

       “He’s not. Quatre Winner supposedly is, to some extent. I think Duo Maxwell has what is known as ‘street smarts.’ The ability to read people.” A very useful skill, he added silently. Too bad I lack it completely. I wonder if--

       “There is one other thing,” Sen continued after a short silence, interrupting his train of thought. “You may not like this, but you should be prepared for the worst. It might be necessary to kill Trowa.”

       Wu Fei blinked. “What?”

       “I think I destroyed his mind. Or Zero Plus did, rather, but I was the one who... anyway, there’s a very good chance he’ll never be the person he was. And he will kill us if we get in his way, so we’ll have to get him first. Understand?”

       Just as before, her seeming indifference to such a terrible condition disturbed him. Had he made the wrong choice? Was she leading him, and Nataku, into some kind of trap? “But you overcame the System’s influence,” he told her. “Surely Trowa Barton--”

       “I’m just saying,” Sen cut it. “There’s no telling what will happen over there. I only want you to be ready for the worst. Maybe we won’t have to kill him. But don’t be surprised if it comes down to that.”

       After that, neither pilot spoke again.

 

       He couldn’t figure out what had happened. He’d been on the verge of delivering the final blow to the Wing Zero when everything had gone black around him. For a moment, Heero was actually terrified. He had the horrifying sensation of being buried alive in this blackness, which seemed to be pressing in on him from all sides, making it impossible to breathe.

       When he had been fighting Wing Zero, the extremity of the sensations the memory had aroused in him had caused him to forget that it was a simulation entirely. He had really been there, again. In this blackness however his mind had breached the surface and he remembered that he was only experiencing a virtual reality. Still, he was so far gone that he scarcely remembered how or why he’d gotten into his current predicament. All he cared about was that it be over, before he went mad.

       Flames in front of him, and all around. Heero started and glanced wildly about him. He believed neither in heaven nor in hell, but for some reason the thought that he might have somehow been hurled into the bowels of the underworld had struck him first. Then, from behind a wall of fire, a pair of narrow green eyes... a black, whip-like, metallic weapon... that distinctive red sheen...

       Epyon.

       The battle with Milliardo Peacecraft, alias Zechs Merquise.

       The climax of the Eve Wars!

       Relena’s brother...

       “No... God...” he said, with the feeling that a cold fist had clenched itself around his very core. “Not again...”

 

       “Ah, he’s reached Level Five,” Moira remarked to herself. “About time.” Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye she saw a red light flashing on a computer terminal. Furrowing her brow, Moira made her way over to the terminal and checked to see what it was. Her mouth turned upwards into a perfectly lipsticked smirk. “So. You’ve arrived.” She thought for a moment, and her smirk mutated into a devious grin. She pulled a pocket phone out of her suit jacket, dialed a number, and put it to her ear. A pause. “Is that you, Trowa Barton?” she asked snappishly.

       “Yes Miss Devlin.”

       “Did you note that someone set off the silent intruder alarm? Be on your guard, especially if it turns out to be Sen. She has some sort of attachment to that Maxwell kid, apparently, so she may go after him first. Also, I’ve decided that Quatre Raberba Winner must die; he’ll only inconvenience us. Kill him when you get the chance, then come to this room immediately afterwards. There’s one more thing I need you for, understand?”

       Trowa hesitated. He did not do so because he disliked the idea of killing Quatre Winner. That did not bother him in the least. Instead, he remembered what Liu Sen had told him: “If Moira asks you to kill one of the pilots... tell her to do it her own damn self.” Miss Liu was his superior, but Miss Devlin was Miss Liu’s superior. Whose orders, then, should he follow?

       “Well?” Moira demanded. “Answer me, you stupid wretch!”

       “I--” he began.

       “Don’t argue with me, damn you! You do as I say, understand? Well?!”

       That answered his question. “What you say, Miss Devlin. Of course.”

       Moira violently pressed the off button, and suddenly hurled the pocket phone against the wall, permanently damaging it. “I can’t wait much longer...” she seethed.

 

       Quatre sat alone in the room, his head in his cuffed hands. He was trying not to cry. Although he had never thought of it as a sign of weakness-- after all, he had grown up in a family of twenty-nine older sisters-- others apparently did, and he’d been trying to break himself of the habit which he now viewed as both childish and undignified. Still, with everything that had happened... Quatre had reached two very disturbing conclusions.

       First of all, he now had an idea of the anguish Trowa might have gone through, during that horrible point in the war when their situations had been reversed, and Quatre had nearly killed him in Wing Zero.

       Secondly, whatever it was that had happened to Trowa-- new Zero System, as Duo had speculated, or whatever... it appeared the change was permanent.

       That sinister impostor in the other room was not Trowa. Trowa Barton, his friend, was dead.

       He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his knuckles into his eyelids in an effort to keep his emotions from spilling over. Actually, this situation was worse than if Trowa had been literally dead. As long as there was a person walking around in the universe, sounding like him, looking like him, using his name... but no longer the good person he’d once been... that was hard to accept, because it was too unnatural. Physical death made a kind of sense, he supposed, but psychological death... caused by nothing he or anyone else could comprehend...

       The door creaked open. Quatre lifted his head and blinked. A plainclothes guard, whose massive bulk blocked the entire doorway, was coming towards him. The guard pulled him roughly to his feet. Quatre glared furiously at the guard, meeting his eye, not the least bit intimidated by the fact that the man was twice his size, maybe more.

       “Sorry, kid, but looks don’t actually kill,” the guard said, smirking. “Mr. Barton’s ready for you now. Any last requests?”

       Quatre’s hands were balled into fists. “Just one,” he said calmly, and he rammed his two fists into the man’s stomach. Like Heero Yuy, Quatre’s true strength was effectively masked by his slight, compact frame. The guard gasped, partly from pain, partly from surprise, and Quatre slammed his fists against the man’s face, and with a final, solid kick, knocked him to the floor. Leaping agilely over the inert form, Quatre sprinted out the door, not having the slightest idea of where to go, or what to do next.

 

       After telling Wu Fei how to get to the cells where Duo Maxwell was most likely was being held, Sen had made her way to the main control room, where Moira Devlin was sure to be. She had her gun out and ready, and hoped she’d be able to carry out the future she’d chosen from the ones Zero had shown her.

       The door slid open. Sen steeled herself for an attack of some kind; she did not doubt for a second that Moira was waiting for her, but it appeared that she wasn’t in the room. Perhaps Moira had assumed that Sen would go after Duo Maxwell first, and had mistaken Wu Fei’s intrusion for her own. Sen wasn’t sure if Moira had been ready for both of them to show up or not... but it was better to assume that she had. So there was probably someone waiting for her...

       She took three cautious steps forward, her eyes flitting over every corner of the room, her finger less than a second away from pulling the trigger, if anything should...

       Then her blood turned to ice as a wave of fear and sympathetic pain welled up inside her, because there was Heero Yuy, completely overcome and at the mercy of the terrible machine, the Zero Plus.

       Still alert to the enemy that would no doubt manifest itself to her any second, Sen made her way over to the machine. He was on Level Five. She glanced over at him, feeling sick. She couldn’t see his face at all, but every aspect of his body language communicated to her that he was being pushed to the very apex of his limits. And because the System over-stimulated the survival instinct in a person’s mind, he would keep pushing his whole being; quite possibly above and beyond what he was actually capable of. If not, his body and mind together would suddenly go out like a lit match in a rainstorm, and that would be the end of Heero Yuy.

       But no... if I survived it; if Trowa did...

       And only two weeks ago, she had seen the exact same sight, only with Trowa Barton in the chair, and she had been completely stolid in the face of such obvious suffering...

       She had to shut the machine down. Her eyes soaked in all the information on the console before her... yes, there was still time. But how to do it? Which section to shut down first? Could it be done safely, or would any slight error in judgment cause Zero Plus to terminate the pilot along with the program?

 

       Wu Fei had taken down many formidable people to reach the cell room, and he’d been furious to find it empty, after going to all that trouble to reach it.

       “Dammit Maxwell, where the hell are you?” he grumbled to himself, glancing around and wondering what to do next.

       He immediately noticed a computer console, so he commandeered it, began typing away, and at last found a schematic of the ship. There were three life forms registering in the room Sen had gone to, one in the room he was in, many others scattered throughout the hallways... but there, one room had three stationary people in it. Having no other choice, he quickly memorized the route, took a few seconds to reload his gun, and headed out again.

       For some reason his mind kept going back to Liu Sen. Had she accomplished her mission yet? He wondered if she was really ready to face Moira or not. After all, he had not been as ready as he should have been the first time he’d faced Treize. Probably after finding Duo and the others, he’d have to go help her out as well, if he and Sen were really as alike as Wu Fei was beginning to think they were.

 

       Sen was nearly going mad with frustration. The Zero Plus console seemed to have some kind of lock on the controls; nothing she did had any effect. Fine then, she’d just have to figure out which codes Moira had used to block access to the System so she could stop the program before Heero reached Level Six.

       But at that moment she intuitively sensed something behind her. Sen whirled around, brandishing her weapon. Someone fired four shots out of the shadows; Sen hit the ground and they missed her completely. She fired twice at the dim shape before her and it fell to the ground. She sprinted over, and there was Moira, her neck twisted at a painful angle, with two bullets in her chest, a gun mere inches from her right hand. Sen made a disgusted face at the sight, and started to put her weapon away, but halted. Something wasn’t right. Where was the blood--?

       Moira’s eyes fluttered open, and she lifted her head. Sen had her gun pointed at the woman’s smooth, powdered forehead. “You’re defeated,” Sen declared blankly.

       Moira kicked Sen with her high-heeled foot, connecting with her ankle, the one that had already been hurt when Sen had fought Wu Fei that evening. Sen gasped and stumbled; Moira kicked her again, knocking the injured girl completely off-balance. Sen’s gun went off, but nowhere near Moira’s head, and Moira grabbed her own pistol and shot at Sen, twice. One bullet missed. The other went right through Sen’s left forearm and she dropped her gun, gasping in pain. Moira threw away her now useless weapon and grabbed Sen’s. The girl was on her knees, clutching her bleeding arm, her face etched with pain.

       Triumphant, Moira stood. Sen looked up to see her own gun aimed right at her head. She was furious with herself. “Kill me,” she hissed.

 

       Duo Maxwell had just completed Level Two, his scores considerably higher than they had been for the first round. “Guess your heart just wasn’t in it yet,” Trowa mused, making notations in his book. He glanced at his watch. “Hm. I wonder if I should wait until he finishes the program before I kill Quatre and go see Miss Devlin.” He furrowed his brow. He really wished his superiors would be more specific.

       Then he thought of Quatre. It wasn’t as if he had any particular desire to kill him, or to refrain from killing him. It simply didn’t matter either way. For some reason, though, Liu Sen’s words kept returning to him: “Tell Moira to do it her own damn self.” Such a strange order. Surely Miss Liu would have realized that he could not overstep his position and say such a thing to Miss Devlin. So why had she said it? Was it possible that--

       Suddenly he heard the sound of gunfire, and unintelligible exclamations of anger, or perhaps pain, outside the door. Oh, yes, that would be the intruder, Chang Wu Fei. Trowa had seen Miss Liu defeated by Lucrezia Noin, and he doubted, inexperienced as she was, that she would be able to defeat a practiced fighter such as Wu Fei. Miss Liu was probably dead or captured, he reasoned, and he pulled a gun out of his coat pocket, aiming it at the door. Sure enough, when the door burst open, there was Wu Fei, who stopped short, both surprised and angry to find Trowa ready and waiting for him. “Disarm yourself,” Trowa ordered.

       Disgusted, Wu Fei threw his weapon to the floor. “Traitor,” he said.

       “It was you who betrayed me first,” Trowa said, coming towards him. “I don’t know how exactly, but you are at least partly responsible for her death, of that I’m certain.”

       “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Wu Fei retorted. “Don’t you see what’s happened? Your mind’s been wrecked by--”

       “I’d like to kill you,” Trowa went on, unheeding. He was now face to face with Wu Fei, who simply scowled up at him, looking at though he wanted to spit. “But Miss Devlin wants you to live.” He stepped aside, indicating that Wu Fei should enter the room, which he did. Then he noticed Duo, and the machine. Wu Fei gritted his teeth, his anger churning and rising within him.

 

       “Well?” Sen demanded. “What are you waiting for; I said kill me!”

       “You betrayed me,” Moira said coolly; then she made a disdainful sound. “You’re an even bigger idiot than I imagined. Did you actually think you could protect that Maxwell boy from me? It would have been much better for him if you’d just done as you were supposed to. Just think how he’s suffered these past few days--”

       “Shut up! Damn you!” Sen snapped. “I wasn’t about to be responsible for wrecking someone else’s mind like I did Trowa’s.”

       “Yes, so instead you injected heavy doses of drugs into his system, and when he was in a state of waking sleep, connected his brain to Siva-Deathscythe’s computer and sent him into battle anyway. You certainly have strange concepts of kindness, Sen.”

       “At least he’s still himself. Ever since I found out about that Zero Plus, I don’t know what the hell I am anymore. I don’t know which thoughts, which feelings, even which memories are really mine, and which were invented by that System. You thought I was your damned possession, you and Edgar both, and that you could fix me into being whatever you wanted. And if you could do it to me, why not to the others, right?”

       “Sen, the extent of your ignorance is positively mind-boggling. You don’t have the slightest idea why any of this is happening, and you never will. You’re just a tuber, and you’re going to pay for what you’ve done, as you rightly should. After all Sen, it was you who lured Trowa here, kidnapped Duo, stole the gundams...”

       “So that’s why you won’t kill me.” Sen paused. “And that’s why your uncle killed himself. You were going to let him get blamed for this too.”

       “Oh, but there’s so much more! Remember Roman Tavey and Nona Smirnov?”

       Sen gaped at Moira. “You know about that? But how...?”

       “You stupid girl, I was the one who hired them to make you that offer. They were afraid that even with Zero Plus you wouldn’t do what we wanted, so I created a situation in which you could appear to gain from getting the gundams as well. But they never would have given you a cent. They work for me.”

       Sen could hardly take what she was hearing; it was too much of a shock. Once again, Moira had her very life in an unbreakable iron shackle, and Sen could not escape it. “This whole thing’s been a set up?!” she cried, furious. “But-- but why? Why are you doing this; I don’t understand...!”

       “And you never will. My dear little Sen, if I told you what the true mission was you couldn’t very well be our scapegoat for it, could you? Don’t you understand that you can’t escape your destiny? You were created to serve our needs, and serve them you will; if it weren’t for my father, you wouldn’t even exist! Not that you have any right to, though, after the things you’ve done.”

       “The things I’ve done? You just wait! I’ll tell them about Zero Plus; I’ll tell them--!”

       “And no one will believe you,” Moira hissed suddenly. “Tell me Sen, did Chang Wu Fei believe you when you told him about Zero Plus? The ravings of a mad girl, pretending to be the victim--”

       “Well, what about the pilots, Moira?” Sen broke in. She was hanging on the edge of a cliff that only crumbled away the more she tried to grab onto something that might save her. “What are you going to do with them? Don’t you think people will notice that something’s not right with them?”

       Moira’s face instantly took on a hard, somber expression that made even Sen feel ill at ease. “No one will suspect anything of the kind about Quatre Winner, or that wretched little bastard Trowa Barton, because they will be dead. And when the public hears that you have killed the beloved Winner heir, they’ll burn you at the stake, little girl; you see if they don’t. And I...” Moira looked up serenely and smiled as though experiencing a moment of ecstasy. “And I will kill that Trowa Barton.” She fixed her joyless green eyes onto Sen’s blue ones, which were burning with anger and desperation. “But we’ll tell everyone you did it, of course.”

       Sen’s whole body shook and burned with a rage she could not vent. Zero had been wrong. She was helpless before this woman. Sen now realized that what she had been told and believed for so many years had been wrong: she was not the heartless one, it was Moira.

       And yet it was her own flawed, uncertain heart, which had weakly tried to stand up to Moira’s airtight efficiency and protect others besides herself... that was where she’d gone wrong. Worrying about Duo and the others... trying to help them... that had been her mistake. If she had escaped, Moira would not have had anyone to blame for her actions, so she would have had to pay for them. And even though the lives of the five pilots would be either taken or ruined... well, that had happened in spite of her recent efforts, hadn’t it?

       I am an annihilator, Sen thought. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Heero Yuy. I’ve destroyed all their lives, and in trying to help them I destroyed my own. Even Wu Fei, she realized, had probably been apprehended by Trowa at this point; the odds hadn’t really been in his favor, after all.

       A god of destruction. That is me. I wonder if the New which is to be created from all of this has any chance of being better. But it can’t possibly.... Kali-Mata, why did you abandon me?

 

       Zechs Merquise was dead. Again. But not again, really; only in Heero’s mind, which felt like a raw, open wound into which a thousand grains of salt were being rubbed deeper and deeper, penetrating every corner of his consciousness.

       What, he had to wonder, would be next? Wasn’t it over yet? The battle with Zechs had wiped him out completely. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think; even breathing had become a massive effort of will that barely seemed worth the struggle at this point. Never in all his life had he wanted to die as much as he did right then.

       Of course, Heero had no way of knowing that such overwhelming sensations were largely a result of the computer manipulating and over-stimulating his thoughts and senses. Still, what he wouldn’t give to rest, if only for a few moments, just until breathing began to feel like a normal bodily function again...

       Heero now sensed the presence of a bright light in front of him, even though his eyes were shut tightly against it. He opened them, blinking repeatedly until they adjusted to the light...

       ...which was sunshine. A warm, pure light in such harmony with the impeccable blue of the cloudless sky. He suddenly noticed that he was no longer inside a mobile suit. No, he was lying on the ground in a gorgeous, grassy park that seemed somewhat familiar, but he could not now remember where he’d seen it before. He could hear little kids shrieking as they played at a distance, and people talking pleasantly, laughing every now and then. And there were birds, too, and dogs barking, and he could smell food; there was a hot dog stand nearby, apparently. And trees, which had emerald leaves that sparkled and flashed in the sunlight as the wind laced itself through them. The air was fresh and light, the ground soft and warm.

       And the best thing about it was that it did not have that aura of being hyper reality, of being too vivid to be real, as the rest of the simulation had been. It was simply a natural, pleasant place to be in, and very dissimilar to the backdrops which most of his life had played against... God, it was incredible! He actually felt rested, and almost happy, and almost... peaceful. For the first time in years, he was almost smiling. All the pain and violence he’d been experiencing seemed to melt into oblivion, and he felt as though he was absorbing fresh, natural energy from the ground itself, as he no longer felt so insanely tired and sore. It was so... almost perfect...

       He heard a small dog barking somewhere behind his head. He didn’t care, even though the sound kept getting closer and closer. He just stared at the sky, wishing he could draw that immense, celestial calm in through his eyes and deep down into his body. Such peace.

       The small dog, a puppy actually, had jumped onto his stomach and it was looking at him, sniffing his face, as though trying to understand what he was. Heero sat up abruptly, surprised, and the puppy tumbled to the ground, barking and wagging its tail. It certainly looked familiar, but Heero was certain he’d never had a dog before, nor had he known anyone who did. Strange.

       “Mary! Mary, where are you?” A child’s voice cut, knifelike, through the air.

       “Your name is Mary?” he asked the puppy, furrowing his brow. The puppy barked at him, shrilly. The sound hurt his ears a little.

       “Oh, there you are, Mary. You silly puppy!” A child, a little girl, had come into Heero’s line of vision, and scooped the puppy up into her arms. Then she turned around, and looked at Heero.

       “Hi,” the little girl said, smiling and waving her small, toy-like hand.

       Heero stared at her. It was impossible to describe the mix of feelings that had instantly churned up inside of him, but suddenly he wanted to run. Never in all his life had he wanted to escape a place as much as he did now, because the realization of where he was and what was happening had struck him like a sword of ice impaling itself through his chest, and he just... he had to get out of there. But he was frozen, mortified, to the spot.

       And there it was again, flooding through his brain... that hyper-realistic feeling...

       He was about to experience it all again, and ten times stronger than what it had been in real life.

       No... not this. If there’s a God out there somewhere... please.

       Not...

       this...

 

       “Why look, Sen,” Moira said, indicating Heero Yuy with her head. “He’s reached Level Six.”

 

       It had taken Relena over two hours of tossing and restlessly turning before she’d at last fallen into a troubled sleep. And still she kept waking up: three, four times, with disturbing images taunting her, flitting at the very edge of her consciousness so that she couldn’t know what they were, as they did not have enough substance to be focused on. After the fifth abrupt awakening, Relena threw her blankets off and stalked out of bed, irritable and tired, but not sleepy.

       She paced around her room, her face troubled, unconsciously fidgeting with her hands. For the life of her she could not figure out what was wrong. She hadn’t had this kind of trouble sleeping since she’d been a very little girl haunted by nightmares of her home, the Cinq Kingdom, being burned and destroyed; she had been too young to know what they meant. Eventually the nightmares had faded, and then stopped entirely, and it had been awhile before she’d learned that they had been actual memories, not just bad dreams.

       Relena felt a sudden chill, and grabbing her robe and slipping her feet into a pair of furry white slippers, she wandered out into her sitting room and clicked the view screen on. She flopped down on the couch and stared bleary-eyed at the screen, while stock quotes ran in a crawler across the bottom and the commentator droned on about investments... or something... she wasn’t really listening.

       Relena stared. She was so tired; why couldn’t she sleep? If she could sleep, her mind would rest, and it would stop obsessing over...

       “Heero,” Relena mumbled. “You’re so courageous in battles... but you’re always running and hiding from everyday life...”

       Suddenly, she sat bolt upright. Her blue-green eyes widened, and she fumbled for the view screen control, to turn up the volume.

       “... will soon be out of business, if this keeps up,” the commentator was saying. “I interviewed Miss Devlin three weeks ago, after Devlin Corporation’s stock had hit its lowest point in fifty-seven years. It’s clear that...”

       Devlin...

       Relena stared at the picture of Moira Devlin in the upper-right-hand corner of the screen. At the sight of Moira’s face, a small strand of memory unraveled itself in her mind, the sort that is almost always registered and forgotten within moments of its occurrence, although some of them are known to linger, for no apparent reason...

 

       Relena turned to mingle with the other attendants, and bumped right into a young woman with her hair done in an elaborate, stylish braid. “Oh! Excuse me,” Relena said politely.

       “Perfectly all right, Miss Darlian,” the young woman said smoothly...

 

       Relena leapt to her feet and ran to the phone, heedless of the fact that it was the middle of the night. She had to get a hold of Lady Une, or Noin, or any Preventer. Heero was in danger, and he would need their help.

 

       “I’ll kill you if I have to, Trowa Barton,” Wu Fei said. “If that’s what it takes to stop this.”

       “No you won’t,” Trowa said calmly. He still had the gun trained on Wu Fei’s head, and was backing out of the room. “But you’d attack me, doubtless, so I’m going to lock you in here, and then call for backup. I’m sure you’ll attempt to take out some of the men, but you won’t beat them all. Then you will be restrained, and--”

       Quatre hit Trowa square in the back.

       Stunned, Trowa stumbled forward, and turned. Quatre stood in the doorway, his wrists still cuffed, his expression still angry and troubled. It was obvious he hadn’t wanted to hit Trowa, but of course he had no choice.

       “You’re supposed to die,” Trowa informed Quatre blandly, pointing the gun at him.

       Wu Fei, however, who prided himself on having no emotional attachment to anyone living, had no feelings of guilt when, with a loud cry, he knocked Trowa off his feet, kicked the gun out of his hand, and, as Quatre ran over to grab the gun himself, yanked Trowa to his feet by his shirt collar.

       “You were right!” Wu Fei said forcefully. “If I killed you, nothing would be accomplished. But I’ll gladly beat some sense into you, if that’s what it takes!”

       “Wu Fei, no!” Quatre shouted. “Beating him up won’t help anything!”

       The split second of distraction gave Trowa a split second to act. He shoved Wu Fei and hit him three times: once in the face, twice in the stomach. Wu Fei stumbled backwards, breathing hard. Trowa lunged at Quatre, and tried to wrench the gun out of his grasp, succeeding.

       “Trowa, stop!” Quatre shouted, and rammed his two fists into his stomach, delivering a devastating punch before Trowa could aim the gun at anyone. He fell over backwards, hit his head against the wall, and was out for the count.

       “No!” Quatre cried, running towards him. “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to do it!” Tears formed in his eyes. “What happened to you? Why did you make me do that?”

       Wu Fei, after picking up the gun for himself, was looking from Quatre to the unconscious Trowa, surprised that someone like Quatre had been capable of throwing such a punch.

       He walked over and looked at Trowa. “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it,” he told Quatre.

       “I didn’t want to hurt him.”

       “You did what you had to do. He was going to kill you.” Wu Fei paused. “I never imagined you were capable of hitting someone that hard. It’s rather impressive.”

       “I’m not proud of it,” Quatre said angrily, wiping his face.

       Wu Fei shook his head. He just didn’t get it. “Listen. Trowa’s mind has been manipulated by a type of Zero System, an advanced version. The effects aren’t permanent though.”

       “A new Zero System?” Quatre repeated, looking up at Wu Fei, then standing. “How--?”

       “There’s no time to explain everything,” Wu Fei interrupted. He looked over at Duo. “I think he’s trying to do the same thing to him, so we have to--”

       “Trowa!” Quatre said suddenly.

       Wu Fei’s head snapped around, and he pointed the gun at Trowa, whose eyes had opened slightly.

       “Quatre?” Trowa asked, squinting. He sat up and looked around, confused. “What-- what’s going on? Where are we?”

       Quatre knelt down next to him. “You don’t remember?”

       Trowa suddenly cried out in pain, and he grabbed his head between his hands, squeezing his eyes shut, and bringing his knees up to his chest. “My head!” he gasped. “It’s killing me...! I’m think I’m gonna be sick...”

       “Hey, Trowa, it’s okay,” Quatre was saying, but he looked a little panicked. “I’m really sorry I hit you like that, but--”

       Wu Fei sensed that Trowa would not try to attack them yet, so he hurried over to the Zero Plus machine. He glared at it, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Like the others, he knew a lot about computers, but unlike the others, he had very little patience for trying to figure out new and unfamiliar systems. “How do you turn this damn thing off?” he snapped to no one in particular. Liu Sen was still on his mind; he was anxious to go help her.

       He glanced over at Duo, whose entire body looked tense and rigid, as though he was under a great deal of very high stress. Frustrated, Wu Fei pulled out the gun, took a few steps back and aimed, intending to blast the thing to bits.

       “No, don’t!” Trowa said suddenly, getting to his feet. “Don’t shoot; it’ll kill him!”

       Wu Fei scowled at Trowa. “How can I believe anything you say? Your mind’s been toyed with by a couple of women and a machine. You probably--”

       Trowa frowned at him and went over to the machine. “You have to do it one function at a time, or the program will terminate the user along with it.” Trowa began typing away at the machine. Wu Fei and Quatre exchanged glances; Wu Fei’s looking suspicious, Quatre’s looking hopeful.

       “Okay,” said Trowa. He turned towards Duo, undid the bonds on the chair, then lifted the helmet off his head. Duo looked completely dazed, and his eyes were unfocused. His hair was wet with perspiration, and he looked like he was going to pass out.

       “Duo?” Quatre said, hurrying up to him. “Are you okay?”

       Duo, swaying slightly, turned in the general direction of Quatre’s voice, but made no other response.

       “Duo,” Trowa said. “Can you stand up?”

       “Uhn,” said Duo, and he started to fall forward. Trowa caught him before he hit the floor, and eased him back into the seat. It was obvious to everyone that he was out cold.

       “Hm,” said Trowa.

       “Wait a minute,” Wu Fei said, still glowering a little. He grabbed Trowa’s shoulder and forced him to turn around. “That’s it? You’re back to normal?”

       Trowa paused, and thought for a moment. “Hm. Well...” He paused again. “Yes,” he said, finally.

       It was obvious Wu Fei wasn’t convinced, and Quatre said, “He is, Wu Fei. I can tell.”

       Wu Fei peered at Quatre. “You mean...”

       “Yes,” Quatre said firmly. “I can tell.”

       Then Wu Fei remembered: He’s an empath. Probably he really can tell. And then, Trowa reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, which he used to remove Quatre’s wrist cuffs. Wu Fei nodded once, satisfied.

       “I heard what you said about a new Zero System,” Trowa said. “And you say it manipulated my mind?”

       “Yes, yes; there’s no time for that now,” Wu Fei said, brushing him off. “One of Devlin’s workers is on this ship to kill Moira. She helped get me here to find you guys, but now she might need help.” He headed for the door.

       “Wu Fei, wait a minute!” Quatre said. “You can’t just run off; what about Duo? And Heero?”

       “And the gundams,” Trowa said. “There are six on this ship; we have to get them.”

       “You figure it out. I’m going to help Sen.”

       “Sen?” Quatre repeated. “She’s the one who’s helping you? That’s great! I just knew it...”

       “Liu Sen...” Trowa said. “Now I understand.”

       Wu Fei was heading out again. “Get back here!” Quatre said. “You’re going about this the wrong way.”

       He turned, annoyed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

       “Listen, we need a strategy. Moira Devlin doesn’t know that Trowa’s back to normal, so he should go and make sure Sen’s okay.”

       “He’s right,” said Trowa. “And Heero’s with Moira, too.”

       “So Trowa can go. And you’ve got to help me. Sandrock and Heavyarms are on this ship somewhere, and probably the Ghost versions too. We have to get our gundams and destroy the Ghosts. Plus, we have to get Duo out of here. I can’t fend off any guards that might be around if I’m helping him. I need you to do that.”

       Wu Fei was irritated, but Quatre as usual was right. It would make more sense for Trowa to go instead of him.

       “Fine,” he said, and he looked at Trowa. “Go.”

 

       Trowa made his way to the main chamber of Moira Devlin’s ship. He didn’t have to worry about being spotted by anyone. The chain of command had always been Miss Devlin, Miss Liu, and then himself. Now he understood, if only a little, how he had come to be in the state of mind he’d been in for almost a week, but the whole situation still had him extremely confused. For starters, he couldn’t figure out what it was that had snapped him out of his occlusion. He hoped that when this was all over he would have a way of finding out.

       When he arrived at the control room he entered without bothering to be asked inside; after all, she was expecting him. The first thing he saw was Heero and the Zero Plus machine. Reflexively, Trowa felt a hatred rise in him which he quickly suppressed. No, he told himself sternly, Heero is not my enemy. Quatre and Duo said that Cathy is alive.... He sincerely hoped that whatever this “new Zero System” had done to him was not in any way permanent. He would hate to go through life trying to smother in himself a baseless loathing for his friend.

       The next thing that caught his eye was Moira holding a gun and Liu Sen lying off to the side, her clothes bloodied. He felt apprehension without any of it registering on his face. Had Moira killed Sen? But when he looked closer, he saw that only her arm was injured. It was more likely that she had only been knocked out.

       Moira had been absent-mindedly fingering a gold locket which hung from her neck. She hadn’t even noticed his entrance; she seemed to be in a world of her own. Trowa knew that she had some kind of very intense hatred for him. He wondered why. He didn’t really like being screamed at constantly by her. It was annoying. Nonetheless, he decided not to let that stop him from announcing his presence.

       “Miss Devlin?” said Trowa. She didn’t seem to hear him.

       “Trowa,” she said quietly.

       That was odd. “Yes?” he asked.

       Moira lifted her head and looked at him. Her eyes narrowed to venomous slits. “You...” she hissed, her voice full of foreboding.

       “Duo Maxwell has successfully completed four levels,” Trowa said, lying smoothly. It was easy for him, given his personality. “The intruder Chang Wu Fei is in a cell at the moment. Would you like him to--”

       “Shut up,” Moira said, and her mouth snaked upwards into a sick grin as she walked towards him. Trowa was again finding himself puzzled by her behavior. She stopped short when she reached his side; Moira was facing the opposite direction that he was, though they were shoulder to shoulder. “Did you kill Quatre Winner?”

       “Yes Miss Devlin,” Trowa said obediently.

       “Then it’s no longer necessary for you to be alive, either,” Moira said, her voice taking on a bizarre, rasping quality. With a crisp yet graceful spinning motion she turned and lifted her gun, placing it against his right temple.

       Trowa glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, his apprehension growing steadily. I guess Wu Fei should have gone after all, he thought.

 

       The little girl looked at Heero. The puppy was wriggling out of her grasp, and she let it down. “What’s wrong?” the little girl asked. “Are you lost or something?”

       Heero just stared. The lines and colors of the scene were so bright and sharp, he felt like someone was scraping shards of glass across his eyeballs. The voice of the child seemed to reverberate throughout his body like a symphonic orchestra in a great hall; he was certain it was still echoing through his bones.

       But out loud, just as before, he simply responded: “I’ve been lost my whole life.” NO! his inner voice screamed. He hadn’t wanted to say it; he wanted to get away, to run; why couldn’t he run?! He was in agony.

       The little girl’s face fell. “That’s sad!” she said earnestly. The way in which she had inflected the word “sad” caused the sound to wash over him with the force of a great tidal wave. All he could smell was dirt, as he was still sitting on the ground. The blades of grass felt like gravel.

       The child looked around, and saw a daisy growing nearby, which she immediately plucked from the ground. She held it out towards him. “Here,” she said. “Maybe now you’ll feel better.”

       It seemed as if an invisible, menacing force outside himself had manipulated his arm and hand into moving to accept the flower. “Um, thanks,” he said, his heart pounding like an earthquake in his chest.

       Then a thought jolted him like an electric shock. This was the person he’d been trying to save! This was who he’d been worried about throughout all those battles! He could warn her this time, about what was going to happen! He could warn them all! And everything would be so much better...

       “Listen!” he cried suddenly, grabbing her shoulders, still holding the flower. “Listen to me! Something bad is going to happen tonight, where you live. There’s going to be a horrible accident, and... you have to go somewhere else, okay? You and-- and Mary, and your family, and everyone else who lives near you; you’ve got to warn them, okay?” He didn’t even consider the possibility that no one would believe her.

       The little girl was staring at him, her eyes large and shiny. She didn’t look afraid, exactly; she was just staring. “I have to go home now...” she said, twisting herself out of his grasp.

       “No!” Heero cried again. “You can’t go home, didn’t you hear me? If you go home, you’ll die! There’s going to be an accident, and...”

       The child furrowed her brow. “What’s that?” she asked, pointing to his right hand, the one holding the flower.

       “It’s just...” he began, then he looked, and instead of the daisy, he was holding a knife, by the wrong end. Its blade was cutting into his fingers and palm, and there was blood dripping onto his shoes, and running down his arm. He stared at it, horribly confused. The knife was hurting him, but he couldn’t make himself let go of it. His hand seemed to have lost its ability to move.

       He looked at the little girl again. She was still standing there, looking at him, but instead of a child’s face, he thought he saw the almost adult face of Relena instead.

       “Heero,” the little girl said, in Relena’s voice.

       “Relena? What--?” He began again. “Do you know the way out of here?”

       The Relena-child narrowed her eyes at him. “There’s no way out of your own head, Heero,” she said acidly. “If you want to stop cutting yourself, you have to do it right.” The Relena-child pulled a large gun out of thin air, it seemed, and put the barrel in her mouth.

       “Relena, no!” he shouted, but before he could move, the trigger had been pulled, the gun went off, and the entire landscape seemed to blast itself to pieces around him, along with the girl’s head.

       The force of the explosion had knocked him backwards. When he sat up again, the sky was dark; it was nighttime. He was sitting in rubble, the rubble of a building that still smoked from its destruction, as if the souls of those who had been killed inside it were slowly ascending to the sky.

       Not again... not again... NOT AGAIN... his inner voice kept crying.

       But for Heero this was not “again;” this actually was. He got to his knees and began digging through the broken piles. He knew instinctively what he was looking for, and what he would find, although at the moment his mind could not latch onto what exactly it was. There was a name and a face to be attached to what he was searching for, but both pieces of information were being dangled at the edges of his consciousness, and then snatched away again before they could be grasped. So instead he kept digging through the dark masses of rubble, because he knew that when he found what he was looking for, his mind would no longer be tormented by these thoughts that were too indefinable to think about.

       The piles were full of broken glass, which sliced coldly through his skin; and roughened, smashed-up chunks of cement and plaster; and dust that got in his face and lungs, turning the air into breathable sandpaper; and snapped pieces of metal that poked and prodded as though they were actively trying to stab him... and all of these sensations were magnified by the System, so that even though he was causing himself great pain during his mad search, he didn’t care. It would be more painful, in some abstract way he couldn’t reason out, to refrain from looking. Because he had to see; to know. If he didn’t see... he would go mad, mad as the Relena-child blowing its own head up in a nice park full of people and little kids and puppies...

 

       “You aren’t capable of imagining how much I’ve wanted to kill you,” Moira informed Trowa.

       “I don’t understand. What did I ever do to you?” he asked.

       “You know exactly what you did!” Moira said through clenched teeth. “It’s the same thing you’ve been doing since Operation Meteor, every damn day of your worthless life...!”

       Then Moira cried out in rage as Sen wrenched her arms over and away from Trowa, causing the gun to go off. Sen kneed Moira square in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her, and she lost her grip on the gun, falling to floor. Sen pointed the gun at Moira’s head. “If you move I’ll kill you,” she told Moira in her toneless way. “Trowa Barton, I order you to end the program and release Heero Yuy.”

       “He won’t take orders from you, tuber!” Moira gasped.

       “I won’t take orders from either of you,” Trowa said simply. “But I will release Heero, Sen, because it was my intention to do so before you even mentioned it.”

       Sen forced herself not to glance at Trowa in surprise. “You mean... you’re...” She realized then that she didn’t know how to phrase what she wanted to ask.

       “Yes,” Trowa replied as he worked at the machine. “But not to the extent I would like. I hope that when we escape it can all be sorted out.”

       “Yeah. So do I.”

 

       He was so close. He was almost there! Just a few more... maybe another... move that out of the way... never mind that the flesh of his palms and fingers were so torn up that everything he touched was marked by a bloody hand print; never mind the filthy bits of shrapnel that would probably be embedded in his body forever; never mind the sensation that his knees had been rubbed so raw that bare kneecaps were scraping against the ground leaving bright red tracks everywhere... his legs cut and split open, his face stained with his own blood, the smell of the dust and the smoke and the blood making him choke and gag... no, no, no, he did not care, he was so close! It would all be worth it to see, to know...

       He pushed a piece of plaster away, and something shiny caught his eye. It was buried beneath the pile, but the light had caught it in such a way as to make him notice it. He squinted down into the pile, trying to make out what it was. At last he saw that it was an eye, which meant someone was buried down there, someone he had to save, someone who would clarify and unite the loose-ended thoughts in his head that he couldn’t think about...

       He began tearing into the pile in a wild frenzy; he had to get that person out of there. He uncovered more pieces: there was the hand, there the small leg... so it was a child he had to rescue...

       Finally, he had uncovered her. The little girl in the park, her skin pale with plaster dust, although dark bruises and abrasions could been seen through it. She had the stunned, unnatural look of the person who has died with her eyes wide open. He stared at her in a state of complete mortification; he wanted to weep and vomit and scream in rage until his lungs burst... therefore he didn’t know what to do first...

       Then the dead eyes moved. To look at him.

       He started. She sat up. Looking at him.

       She wasn’t dead. She had somehow lived through the destruction of her home, the destruction that he had caused just minutes before, while in the midst of his military training under Doctor J....

       He’d always taken her for dead, the unfortunate little kid... never hurt anyone, just a little kid...

       He grabbed her and hugged her. She put her small arms around his neck, and he had the idea that she was crying for her mother, but his mind was too full; no other information could enter it at that time.

       She had lived. The little girl had lived. Amazing. He hugged her tighter. She was like a little doll, or teddy bear, so small. But alive, just like him. Amazing.

       Suddenly the girl’s body stiffened in what could only be absolute terror. She screamed at the top of her lungs, right in his ear, and the sound ripped through him, a full-body paper cut. He stumbled to his feet; something was behind them, some unspeakably awful thing. The thing he’d actually been looking for in the ruins. The thing that would bring all his murky thoughts together; the little girl had not done that. He was holding the child in his arms and she was sobbing and shrieking, horrified, and he turned to see what was so

 

       “Okay,” said Trowa. The machine seemed to sigh as the power left it. Trowa carefully undid the straps on the chair and lifted the simulator helmet off of Heero’s head, expecting him to keel over as Duo had.

       Instead, Heero’s whole body jumped as though he’d been given an electric shock. Trowa stared at him, instantly alarmed. Heero’s eyes were wide and wild and bloodshot; he was gripping the controls on the arms of the chair so hard that he shook all over; his breathing was raw and gasping.

       “Heero?” Trowa asked, the alarm he felt leaking into his normally calm voice. “Heero, say something.”

       “RELENA!” Heero roared, a tortured, harrowing sound that caused Moira to flinch, Sen’s stomach to twist painfully, and Trowa’s eyes to widen. Then he collapsed, instantly losing consciousness. Trowa caught him and laid him down on the floor, checking his pulse. Satisfied, he stood and looked at the readout screen.

       “Level Six,” said Trowa. He paused. “Cathy...”

       Sen was seething. “I should kill you,” she said to Moira. “Better yet, I should have you complete the battle simulation. Somehow that thing makes agony even more agonizing than it is in real life. Yes, I think that would be the most appropriate fate for you.”

       Moira sniffed. “Nothing that machine could come up with would be worse than what I have already suffered.”

       Sen scowled at her, extremely irritated, but calmer. “You’re mad.”

       “Stupid tuber,” Moira countered. “You weren’t born with emotions, or a heart that is anything other than a muscle to keep circulation going. The account of my sufferings would be wasted on someone like you.”

       “I couldn’t agree more,” Sen answered ironically. She paused. “Dammit. I should just kill you. I don’t care what terrible things you think you went through. You don’t deserve to live.”

       By now Heero had regained consciousness, but as he didn’t respond to anything Trowa said, Trowa simply helped him to his feet, putting Heero’s arm around his shoulder to support him.

       “Then pull the trigger, Sen,” Moira sad. “It’s what you were born to do, you know.”

       “To kill you? No, I’d like to think my life has more meaning to it than that. In fact, I just realized something that makes me want to spit. You and I... we’re the same. Revolting isn’t it. We both try to make up for our feelings of powerlessness with machines, me with that Siva, you with Zero Plus. We both lost everything when Operation M. went on without us. I lost my focus and purpose in life. You lost your father, the only thing you were capable of loving besides yourself, apparently, and therefore lost your last tie to human decency. As I eventually did by going along with your heartless, stupid plan for my own gain.” She sniffed. “How do you like that?”

       “Heartless, am I? Inhuman? You little witch, you’ve never loved anyone, and you’ve never been loved by anyone! How dare you speak to me about heartlessness!”

       “Because I’m the one trying to save the lives of these people, who have nothing to do with either of us, and you’re the one trying to ruin them. You have no excuse for the way you’ve turned out; I have every reason to be what I am.” Sen adjusted her grip on the pistol, but she already knew what she’d have to do. The only way you and I will ever be different is if I put it behind me, and do everything I can to change, and be that good person Duo Maxwell kept saying I was. Instead of dragging others down with me, like you do. And now that I know that... I have to start now.

       Sen lowered her eyes. “Listen. I guess... I’m not going to kill you, all right? Since you didn’t end up getting Trowa’s life, and you don’t have mine either... you’re free to go. Just go as far away from wherever I am as possible; I don’t think that’s too much to ask. And let us leave. None of us have ever hurt you and we’re not going to start now. So if you’re really a better human being than I am... you’ll just let us leave.”

       “If I’m free to go why are you still pointing that gun at me?” Moira asked after a long silence.

       Sen adjusted her grip on the gun again, but didn’t respond.

       “Go ahead, Sen. Leave. If you only knew... but you would not understand.” She glanced back at Heero, who had regained wit enough to focus on his surroundings. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Heero Yuy. Liu Sen is a snake. And don’t forget, she was raised by the man who invented that Zero Plus.”

       “You’re an idiot, Moira,” Sen informed her. “You should really know that.”

 

       Wu Fei stared at the Siva-Altron, the black Ghost version of his own beloved Nataku. How perverse it was.

       He, Quatre, and the still unconscious Duo were in the control room of the launching bay. The huge door on the top of the ship had been opened, and Quatre was sending the Sivas Deathscythe, Heavyarms, and Altron into the void to self-destruct once they reached a preprogrammed area of dead space. In the very same bay were the captured Heavyarms, Sandrock, and Wing Zero mecha, while the Altron and Siva remained stationed on top of the ship where their pilots had left them.

       “How’s Duo?” Quatre asked when he’d finished removing the Sivas; they now had to wait for the air to re-circulate itself throughout the launching bay.

       “Still out,” said Wu Fei.

       “He was in a weakened state,” Quatre remarked. “He’d barely eaten anything in almost three days.”

       Wu Fei didn’t respond. He was thinking about Sen. Had something gone wrong? Maybe...

       “Are you absolutely sure that Trowa’s back to normal?” Wu Fei asked severely.

       “Yes,” Quatre replied immediately. “He freed me, and Duo. He stopped attacking us. And... I already told you. I can tell.”

       “Then what’s taking them so long? Why aren’t they here yet?” he demanded, sounding more agitated than he meant to.

       Quatre peered at him. “You’re really worried about Sen, aren’t you?”

       Wu Fei scowled at him. “Don’t be stupid. I just don’t want to be in outer space anymore than necessary.”

       “Well, okay, sorry, I just thought that--”

       Duo’s eyes flew open. “Huh?” he gasped, then he groaned, grabbing his head. “Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit...” he kept repeating.

       “Duo,” said Quatre, kneeling down next to him. “Are you all right?”

       “How many more times am I gonna wake up like this?!” he demanded, of the ceiling apparently, as he was lying on his back staring up at it. Slowly, he sat up. “Hey. Where am I now?” He looked at Quatre. “Oh. Hey Quatre.” Then he noticed Wu Fei, leaning against the wall and scowling, his arms folded. “Whoa, he’s here, too? How about that. Yeah, I always knew you cared, Wu Fei. Love you too, pal.”

       Wu Fei’s scowl deepened.

       “See?” Duo said, turning back towards Quatre. “What’d I tell you?”

       Quatre was greatly relieved that Duo seemed to be back to his old self, although his cheerful remarks sounded a bit weaker and more subdued than usual, no doubt from the stress Zero Plus had put on him.

       “Now,” Duo continued. “Where are we this time?”

       “We’re still on Miss Devlin’s ship,” Quatre told him. “We’ve found the stolen gundams, and now we have to wait until Trowa comes back with Heero and Sen.”

       “Heero?” Duo repeated. “Ha! I knew it’d take more than a couple of bullets to bring that guy down. And Sen, too? Great! Ten more points for old Duo; my perfect record still stands!”

       “What is he babbling about now?” Wu Fei grumbled.

       Quatre frowned at him, but didn’t say anything. “How are you though, Duo? Can you stand?”

       “Hm, well, only one way to find out I guess.” With a little help from Quatre, he got to his feet. “So I take it Trowa’s okay, too?”

       Quatre nodded. “Yeah. And it turns out you were right. Remember your Zero System theory? It really exists, and Trowa was under its influence. That’s why he acted like he did. And they were trying to use the same thing on you.”

       “You’re kidding! Damn, I’m really on a roll this week....”

       Just then a door slid open nearby, and Trowa entered, still helping Heero, with Sen close behind, covering them with Moira’s gun.

       “Heero?” Duo said, immediately concerned.

       “Heero, what happened?” Quatre asked, also worried at the sight of his weakened, haggard appearance. “Are you--”

       Trowa was shaking his head. “Don’t try to talk to him,” he said. “He’s not up to it right now.”

       “He’s gonna be all right though?” Duo asked.

       “Yes,” said Trowa. “But we’ll have to get him a spacesuit. With only five gundams, and Heero in no condition to pilot one, I suppose I’ll have to carry him again.”

       Heero glowered slightly.

       “There are spacesuits hanging on the wall over there, see?” Quatre pointed out. “But we have to wait a little longer; the air’s still too thin in the bay.”

       “Did you kill Moira?” Wu Fei asked Sen, but before she could answer, he noticed the hole the bullet had left in her arm. His eyes widened. “You’re injured.”

       Sen shook her head. “There’s no time to worry about it now. I didn’t kill Moira. We have to get out of here.”

       Wu Fei frowned at her. “You’re being foolish.” He tore at the lining in his coat and began to wrap her injured arm in it.

       Sen turned a little red. “Um, thanks,” she muttered. “Hey Maxwell,” she said. “You all right?” Wu Fei glanced at Duo, his expression unreadable.

       “I will be when I get a decent meal in me,” he replied. “You’re a terrible cook, Sen.”

       Sen smirked at him.

       “All right, we can go now,” Quatre announced.

       “Hey, Heero, are you--” Duo began.

       “I’m fine,” Heero snapped, stalking out of the room.

       “Yeah, huh, see what I mean?” Duo said to Sen as they exited. “You guys could be twins. I’ll bet you set your own broken bones, too. And how many people have you threatened to kill only to find that when you got the chance you couldn’t go through with it? Next thing you know, you’ll be enrolling in private schools under my name--”

       “Hey,” Wu Fei cut in, handing Sen a space suit, and frowning at Duo. “Quit babbling. We’ve got to hurry.”

       “Too late for that!” said another voice.

       Six heads snapped around; both Sen and Wu Fei went for their guns, but by then Moira and her guards, all armed, had encircled them.

       “Moira, what the hell are you doing?” Sen demanded as the guard nearest to her grabbed the gun out her hand.

       “You should have killed me, Sen,” Moira said triumphantly. “Didn’t you think that escape was a bit too easy? I’m really very surprised, especially at you, Heero. You above all should have known better. But why get into that now. Tell me Sen, did you honestly think that anything you could say would change my mind? I never would have imagined you could be so naive. Or perhaps it’s just your blatant, tuber stupidity--”

       “You shut the hell up, you--” Wu Fei began, angrily.

       “Hey leave her alone!” Duo said at about the same time.

       “Enough!” Moira barked suddenly. “The next person who speaks dies; no matter who it is! Sen, I hope you recognize the irony of the fact that it is now truly your fault that their lives will be ‘ruined,’ as you say.” To the guards, she commanded, “Take them all into custody, but put Trowa Barton in a separate room from the others.” She hesitated, and then she noticed Quatre. “You,” she said, nodding to the guard closest to Quatre. “Kill him.”

       Trowa stepped between the gun and Quatre. “Better not,” he said. The others immediately stood around Quatre as well.

       “Sorry, lady,” Duo said, darkly. “But you’ll have to kill us all, and I doubt you’ll want to do that, after you’ve gone to all this trouble.”

       “Hmph. Sen did all the work; it was no trouble for me at all.” Moira gestured lightly with her hand. “Fire at--”

       “Freeze! Drop your weapons immediately!” hollered a commanding, female voice.

       “What?!” Moira shrieked.

       Suddenly the room was flooded with over thirty Preventer Agents, completely outnumbering Moira’s men. Without warning, all of the guards Moira had brought in with her dropped their weapons, and grabbed their left wrists. Lady Une, who had spoken first and led the Agents to the bay, looked on in alarm as the guards collapsed, almost simultaneously.

       “NO! It can’t be! It can’t be!” Moira was screaming.

       Sally Po, a former military medic, knelt down beside one of the fallen guards. She looked at his left wrist, and pointed to the device worn around it. “Look, Chief Une. A kamikaze bracelet. They all committed suicide to avoid capture!”

       Lady Une’s face darkened, and she shook her head. “Fools.” She glanced over at Moira Devlin, who was being cuffed by a recovered Lucrezia Noin. “Take her to the ship, Noin, immediately. The rest of you, search the ship for more people. Westmoreland, as soon as we get the gundams and their pilots safely out of here, I’ll leave you in charge of piloting this ship back to HQ, understood?”

       Westmoreland nodded. “Ma’am.” He hurried off to find the control room.

       “No! You don’t understand!” Moira was sobbing, and yelling at Noin through her tears. “It wasn’t me; it was that tuber girl! You’re arresting the wrong person; I’m innocent! Please, please, don’t do this!”

       “Man, some people just don’t know when to shut up!” Duo yelled at her. Sen and Wu Fei exchanged glances.

       Sally was the only Preventer agent who hadn’t gone to search the ship. She and Lady Une approached the group of pilots. Wu Fei and Trowa looked fine; Duo looked a little tired, as did Quatre, who had apparently been injured, although he’d been taken care of. It was Heero that had them both concerned; he looked terrible. And then there was the black-haired girl neither one recognized.

       “So you’re all still in one piece,” Sally remarked.

       “More or less,” Duo agreed.

       Sally grinned at him. Then she glanced at Wu Fei, who seemed to be staring at the dark-haired girl, while at the same time trying very hard to make it appear as though he wasn’t. She faced the girl. “Let me guess,” she said. “You’re Liu Sen.”

       She nodded. “Yes.” She held out her wrists. “I think you’d better--”

       “Oh give me a break!” Duo said, pushing her arms down.

       Sen blushed, embarrassed at her action, and at the fact that all attention now seemed to be focused on her.

       “She needs a doctor,” Wu Fei told Sally.

       “No I don’t,” Sen contradicted. “I just want to get the hell out of here. The arm can wait.”

       Wu Fei glared at her. She frowned back, and the two stared each other down.

       “Heero, what happened to you?” Une asked gently, while the rest was going on.

       “You’ll find out soon enough,” Heero said shortly. “I’m not going to talk about it now.”

       Une drew back, even more worried. Something was very wrong with him. “Will you be able to fly Wing Zero out of here?” she asked him.

       There was a long pause. “Yeah,” he said at last.

       Une hesitated. “All right,” she said finally, deciding that any more prodding would only agitate him further.

       “Well, I gotta say, I have a whole new respect for you Preventers,” Duo said, looking first at Sally, then at Une. “I mean, it’s amazing! How’d you figure out where we were?”

       “It was partly the information Heero gave us,” Une replied, “and partly the information Relena gave us.”

       Heero started. “Relena?” he asked, hoarsely.

       “In fact, she was the one who made it possible for us to act,” Sally put in.

       “What?” Duo cried, his jaw dropping. “The Peacecraft chick? You gotta be kidding!”

       “We’re not. In fact, she gave us the most valuable clue of all,” Une said. “Although, some credit should be given to Sally’s creativity as well.”

       “But how did you find us?” Quatre asked. “This ship’s been using a hyper jammer.”

       “Before Heero went off to find you guys, I had him get a physical,” Sally replied simply. “And while he was in there, I put a homing device in his shoe.” She looked at Heero. “The left one, just so you know.”

       Heero stared at her, looking mildly bewildered. Sally grinned again and winked at him. “You’re not the only crafty one around here, kid.”

       “I’m assuming you’d all like to take your gundams back to HQ,” Une said. She looked at Duo. “We had your friend Hilde Schbeiker show us where Deathscythe is. We brought it along just in case there was going to be a mobile suit battle.”

       “You brought Shinigami?” Duo asked, grinning. “My old partner!”

       “The Shinto god of death,” Sen remarked, looking at him appreciatively.

       “Let’s get going now, okay?” Wu Fei said impatiently.

       Sally caught his eye, and he glanced away, annoyed. But as the group prepared to leave the ship, she could plainly see him stealing glances at Liu Sen. Sally Po smiled to herself. This had turned out better than she’d ever dared to hope for.