Chapter 2: Pure White Snow

When Kenshin awoke, he was momentarily puzzled to find himself between the covers of a warm futon, in a well-kept room. He remembered soon enough that he had spent the night in Kimiko’s house, as her guest. The thought of awakening to breakfast with a friend brought a smile to his lips, though the expression was not without remorse. He climbed out of the covers, shivering a bit at the chill in the air. He took a step toward retrieving his clothing; the tatami made a slight noise.

"Himura-sama, are you awake?"

Kenshin froze. "Who’s there?" he called, turning toward the sliding panel. The outline of a woman was there. "Kimiko-san?"

"Forgive me, but no. Her maid, Saya." The woman sounded a bit older than Jinko, but no less polite. "Kimiko-sama wanted to make sure that…well, that you would wear the clothes she provided."

He frowned thoughtfully, then smiled. She knows me too well. He hadn’t intended on taking her offer—he didn’t want to impose on her hospitality—but now it seemed that he had no choice. "You don’t need to worry about me, Saya-san. I can take care of myself."

"With all respect, Himura-sama, it’s my duty to take care of you. Please allow me to fold the futon and wash your clothing."

Kenshin made a face at the panel, finally understanding why Kimiko disliked the treatment of her maids. How am I supposed to earn my stay if they do all the chores? I’ll have nothing to do. He sighed, reasoning that there would be something later on for him. "Thank you very much, Saya-san. I’ll change quickly."

Once Kenshin had changed into the clothes Kimiko had offered—they were a bit big, and of paler colors than he usually wore—he allowed another servant, Ryuuka, to lead him to breakfast. Kimiko was already there and waiting patiently. "I thought you’d never wake up," she said pleasantly as he entered. "It’s nearly mid-morning."

"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were waiting for me." Kenshin sat across from her, and soon after breakfast was brought. "I guess, I was glad to sleep in a such a nice place."

She chuckled. "It’s a good thing I met you yesterday; it snowed last night. The first fall of the season. Have you seen?"

Kenshin paused in eating his rice, glancing momentarily at the screen which led outside. He felt his chest grow tight momentarily at the thought of the arrival of winter. For the sake of his hostess, he fit a smile into his expression. "I’m sure it’s beautiful, but I’m glad I wasn’t outside last night."

"Shall we go out later? I always go outside to see the first snow. It’s gorgeous this time of year."

He nodded, a bit vague in his response. In truth he wasn’t looking forward to such an outing; the delicate, brilliant white only reminded him of winters past, and the memories that went with them. He hoped that Kimiko would forget her suggestion, and allow him to instead perform some chores for her.

After breakfast, however, she didn’t hesitate in bringing up the subject again, and Kenshin had no choice but to accept. He was given another layer of clothing to change into, and met with Kimiko near the rear of the mansion. Where there had once been a breath-takingly beautiful garden there was now only a sea of silver glitter, blanketing the earth and trees. Though the sun was dulled by clouds that morning, the glare off the snow was painful to the eyes.

Kimiko didn’t seem to mind. She leapt immediately from the outside porch into the snow, and promptly sank up to her shins. "Oh, cold cold cold!" She climbed out once more, laughing as she brushed off her legs. "I didn’t realize it snowed so much! Isn’t it wonderful? I’ve always loved the snow." She skipped further down, finding a path that had been plowed by the servants that morning. "They always leave me a place to walk, because they know how much I like it out here in the winter. Come on." Without waiting for a response she started down the path.

Kenshin sighed, and followed. The trail led out into an orchard of cherry trees—it might as well have been an orchard of clouds, looking at it now. He continued after Kimiko, trying not to stare at the surroundings for too long. The setting felt familiar to him—the snow hanging from the branches, filling the air with a chill that dared to reach deep within him with its icy touch. No matter how hard he tried to escape, the memories pursued, biting at his mind and dragging him down. He didn’t want to be out here, his fingers so cold that they were numb.

"Himura?"

It wasn’t until Kimiko spoke to him that he realized that he’d stopped walking. She was watching him, concern in her wide brown eyes. "Are you all right?" she asked. "You look upset."

Kenshin shook himself, determined not to indulge in his own problems in her presence. She didn’t deserve his burden. "It’s nothing. It’s just…a bit cold." Unconsciously he reached up and touched his left cheek—his scar. The skin there had always been sensitive, and it felt the cold now more than the rest of him. He felt as if a dagger of ice had been taken to his face. "Please, don’t let me spoil your fun."

But her stubborn nature refused to recoil from this chance. "It’s the snow, isn’t it?" she asked quietly, as if pulling the answers from his very mind. "Bad memories."

He started, confused and alarmed by her quick interpretation of his mood. Quickly he shook his head. "Um, no. It’s just...I’m fine, really." He smiled, but the expression felt unconvincing even to him. "You don’t need to worry."

Kimiko shook her head, still watching him with those same eyes that understood so much. "You look as if you’ve lost something important. Something precious, and you’re looking for it in the snow."

Kenshin took a step back. He didn’t want to hear her—her words that were already raising the memories. It was painful—terrifying, even. He couldn’t face that past yet, not here with the winter’s cold talons about him. When he spoke, his voice trembled on his lips. "Please, let’s not talk about this."

Her face didn’t change at first. He feared that she would inquire further, and held his breath in anticipation, but she didn’t. She simply stared, as if judging something in her brain. At last her lips parted in a grin. She knelt down, collected a handful of snow, and trotted several feet away. He didn’t understand what she was doing until the snowball smacked into his chest.

Kimiko giggled as he stared dumbly at the soggy projectile. "I told you I love the snow," she said cheerfully. "Now come on; let’s make some memories."

Kenshin stared as she began to skip further down the path, waving him on. She’s not going to ask he told himself, following. He breathed deeply once that fact was established in his mind. She won’t ask. She knows you, somehow, and she won’t.

It had been a long time since Kenshin had done anything for the sake of fun. They darted among the trees of the orchard, firing off snowballs at each other like a pair of children. Kimiko was much faster than he’d imagined, sneaking behind the lowest branches to ambush him from behind. It wasn’t a challenge for him to detect her movements, limited as they were due to the added layer of earth, but for her sake he often feigned ignorance. Soon, they were both laughing so hard that they were forced to stop. Together they sat down in a snow drift, staring up the at silver heaven.

"Even the clouds are beautiful in winter," Kimiko said through a sigh. "Maybe a bit somber, but not quite so active as summer clouds, which are always jumping about."

Kenshin chuckled. His anxiety over the season had faded with their play, and for the first time in years staring into the gray-tone sky didn’t cause his hear to throb with guilt. "I like spring clouds the best," he replied. "They bring the rain, which brings the flowers."

"That’s true." A break in the clouds floated overhead, and in that glimpse of blue sky they could see the pale outline of the moon. She smiled at it in a kind of wistful, soft manner. "Foolish little moon," she whispered.

"Hmm?"

"The moon." Kimiko gestured to the orb as it was again swallowed by clouds. "Don’t you think it’s silly that the moon comes out during the day?"

"Silly?" He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "How’s that?"

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and in that look he saw a trace of something he’d not noticed before. It almost looked like loneliness, a feeling he knew far too well. "Well, it doesn’t belong," she said simply. "When the sun’s out, you can barely see it at all." She turned her face upward again. "It shouldn’t be out when it doesn’t belong, looking pale and sad. At night, it is more beautiful than anything else."

Kenshin frowned. "Kimiko-san? Are you…all right?"

"What? Oh, yes." She faced him, smiling faintly even as her eyes were heavy. "It’s just…sometimes I feel like that moon." Again her gaze departed. "In that big house by myself, with people who’d rather clean floors than hold a conversation than me. I grew up in a small house with several people—I’m not used to having so much freedom and nothing to do." He hand dipped into the snow, tossing a cloud of it into the air. "Sometimes I just want to be a farm girl again, I guess. Is that so bad?"

"Of course not." He admitted that he too often longed for days past. Once, he’d been idealistic and innocent. He’d played like normal kids did, and never regretted the choices he made. Even in training with his master, he’d been optimistic and full of passion. He would do anything to feel that clean again.

"You should keep trying," Kenshin told her deftly, hoping that in comforting his friend, he might too find some peace of mind. "I’m sure if you show them how much you care, they’ll begin to understand your feelings. It’s just hard for them because they’re supposed to be your servants."

"Yes, I suppose that’s right." She grinned. "And you’re here now, too."

"I guess I am." He climbed to his feet, brushed himself off, and extended his hand. "Let’s go see."

Kimiko took the offer immediately. "All right."

For the next several days Kenshin stayed in Kimiko’s house. After some convincing the maids allowed him to help with the everyday chores: chopping firewood, shopping in the mornings, and even helping with laundry. He even managed to get Kimiko to help him, and she treated the labor as if it were a reward. He didn’t see the hint of loneliness in her anymore, and though she often watched him closely she never asked about his scar or his memories.

Every morning they would escape the mansion to walk the orchard path, commenting on the progress of the snow’s melting. Kimiko told amazing stories, and Kenshin listened with rapt attention. They were tales any child should have known, and yet nearly all were new to him. For those several days, he felt as if he’d been given a chance to reclaim some of the childhood fate had taken from him.

It was during once such morning that something happened. It wasn’t a very large incident, but it occupied Kenshin’s mind with such silently forcefulness that it was able to dominate his thoughts for hour. They had just left the mansion together, dressed in winter clothing and chuckling over one of the maids’ jokes, when Kimiko reached out and took his hand. She didn’t say anything, and neither did he. They continued to talk as they always did, but walked hand in hand, as if they indeed had become young children again.

But to Kenshin it meant something else. He was not a youth unaccustomed to feel of a woman’s hand, and again his memories began to rise. Her skin was cold from the weather and dry, but her fingers were long and graceful. He felt that his were clumsy, rough, and old in comparison. An odd feeling came over him, as if she shouldn’t have touched him that way, no matter how simple a contact it was. As if some of the blood saturated in his palm would find a way to enter hers.

The next morning when she went to take his hand again, he casually slipped it into his coat. He continued to chat as he usually did, pretending that nothing had been altered. And as far as he was concerned, nothing had. Even Kimiko acted normally. However, he did catch a glimpse of the look in her eyes, and was dismayed to find the lonesome expression he’d detected previously.

But they kept walking as if nothing had changed.

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