Chapter 10: Digging Deeper
Another long day had come to a close. Jovey placed what remained of his evening meal onto the bedside table for attendant, who swiftly carted it away. The older woman had ceased attempting to communicate with him. Not that he’d have anything to say if she did speak his language. He preferred peace.
For the past several days in the hospital Jovey had spent his time mostly reflecting; there was little else to do, as he’d spent some time strapped down. When eh realized that the doctors were doing this for their safety and his own, he stopped fighting and was released. He had recently been left pretty much alone. Meals were brought three times a day, and the lights turned out at night--those were his only human contacts. Except when Van had come.
Tomorrow is the day, he thought, repeating his musings from all that day. Van will come back to fight Celena. But Celena will try to kill him. Unless he learns from the Sorcerer how to cue her once and for all, she won’t stop fighting.
Why do I care?
Jovey sighed. When he closed his eyes he pictured Celena, with her bright eyes and curios inquiries. She had seemed like so pure and innocent a soul, incapable of the acts committed by her alter ego. He had almost felt guilty when she came to him in the forest looking for salvation, and he gave her pain. He’d felt sorry for that delicate personality created to mask his master’s true destiny.
Now, the situation had reversed. It was not Celena that played the mask, but Dilandau Albatou. Thinking himself in the right, Jovey had brought torment to a beautiful, spirited young woman. And because of him they’d all been brought to this foul-smelling planet of nonsense-speaking, flat-faced people. Someone would die. Both sides were counting on his loyalty; perhaps foolishly, he believed that his decision mattered. Though he’d always told himself vengeance against Van was his last remaining ambition, this was not what he’d anticipated. But he could never betray his master, no matter what the form.
I wonder what the others would have done in this situation, Jovey thought idly, trying to picture his old comrades. Their faces were difficult to recall clearly. They always believed that protecting Dilandau was out destiny. He frowned. But…if the Sorcerers could alter Celena that much, could they have done the same to the Dragonslayers? Maybe we were also….
He shook his head fiercely. No, I can’t think like that now. We weren’t a lie. And…Dilandau wasn’t, not really. Or….
Jovey rubbed his eyes and growled in frustration; second guessing himself would lead to nowhere. He could not assume anything, and he couldn’t lose trust in himself. Dilandau had been created--he’d accepted that. But how much of Celena had been used in that mold wasn’t certain yet. All he knew for sure was that, for whatever reason, she still believed in him. And for that, he would never betray her.
I can’t let Van fight her. It’s too dangerous. Because if anything happens to her, I’ll never know the truth.
Jovey wiggled the fingers on his left hand--thanks to the advanced technology of this world and his own substantial healing abilities, he’d gained back most of their function. Though their movements were sluggish, if he was careful there shouldn’t be a problem. The rest of his body was still weary, but more than ever he felt the need to escape his white-walled prison. He needed to feel the sun.
Jovey waited quietly under the guise of sleep for nearly three hours. Once he was sure that the white attendants had retired for the night he set upon tampering with the machines connected to his body. Having already learned that removing the sensors created quite some noise, he first deactivated their units. As an engineer and a mechanic, it was a simple task. Taking the needle from his arm required a bit more courage. He bandaged the small incision as best he could, using a strip of fabric from his flimsy clothing.
Jovey slipped soundlessly out of bed; most likely someone would soon notice that his machines had been disabled. It would be safest to escape through the window, as Celena had done earlier. Though he was concerned about gathering too much attention, if he was caught inside he wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight. The sooner he joined a crowd, the better off his chances were of escaping.
But then, I’ll have to find some new clothing, and shelter for the night. He opened the window just enough to crawl through onto the ladder outside. Slowly, he made his way down toward the street, favoring his left hand. The air was cold against his bare legs and made him shiver. I wonder if anyone’s seen? Thankfully, he’d exited the building facing a darkened building, and few people were on the streets to notice. Only a few stories. About three melefs tall. With a deep breath he continued down, praying all along that he would find Celena before Van did.
Hitomi was just about to leave the house the next morning when her mother stopped her. “Hitomi, we need to talk,” she said, drawing he aside. “I’ve already excused you from school, and it’s important.”
“Mom, you didn’t have to do that,” Hitomi replied quickly. “I’m fine, really I am. And I already told Dad that I didn’t want--“
“I spoke to your father. He said you were crying last night.”
No, I don’t want to talk about this. I just want to go to school and see my friends and forget it all. She stepped away, and hoped that her mother wouldn’t press the issue. “I’m all right now. I was just…lonely, I guess, and scared. But that’s over. Now, I--“
Hitomi’s mother stepped forward and took her shoulders. The girl was momentarily taken aback--her mother’s face was etched with grave sincerity, a look she hadn’t seen before. “It’s not over. Hitomi, there’s something I should have told you. It has to be now, because soon it’ll be too late, and we’ll both regret it.”
She stared at her mother in wonder. “Mom….”
Come with me, Dear. You have to see this.”
Kanzaki Sachiko led her daughter upstairs, to her room, and indicated that she sit on the bed. She did, feeling a bit mystified by her mother’s odd behavior. While she waited, the woman removed what looked like a leather bound journal from her desk drawer--the only drawer that had a lock. “This is your grandmother’s diary,” she explained, holding the ancient book delicately. “She wanted you to have it, but not until you were old enough to understand.”
Hitomi accepted the diary reverently she. She remembered her grandmother only vaguely, as she had died long ago. She’d been a quiet, kind woman with gentle hands and a warm smile. Somehow, though, she’d always seemed a little sad. Her husband had died earlier in her life, and so she lived alone in her small country house. Hitomi’s family moved to the city soon after she’d died.
Hitomi flipped idly through the pages, feeling pangs of nostalgia upon seeing her grandmother’s careful handwriting. “I don’t understand,” she admitted. “Why are you giving this to me now?”
“Because it’s important.” Sachiko sat beside her daughter, and her tone dropped. “I know Van will be back,” she said, causing Hitomi to start. “You’ll have to make a choice.”
“Oh, stop it,” Hitomi said with false cheerfulness. “You know me, Mom. I’m not going anywhere.”
But her mother only continued to gaze at her knowingly. “I love you, Hitomi. But I’ve felt for a long time that you’re out of place here. You have our family and friends, but it’s not enough. You’re missing something.”
“Mom, what are you saying?” Hitomi shifted uncomfortably. Her stomach felt suddenly shallow.
“Whatever you decide,” Sachiko continued, clasping her hand, “your father and I have agreed to support you. We want you to be happy in a place you call home, with people you love. And if here is not that place, you still have all our blessings.”
Hitomi stood up, shocked and almost frightened by her parent’s words. She couldn’t’ believe what she was hearing, even as her heart and brain conflicted for control of her reaction to it. “Are you saying I should go back to Gaea?” she demanded. “Abandon all of you?”
“No. I’m saying you should follow your heart.” She smiled, just a bit, in a rueful way. “You have the choice I didn’t have, Hitomi. All I can tell you is that if you don’t read that book, you’ll regret it, as I did.”
How can this book be that important? Hitomi stared down at the diary momentarily. Her insides churned--she wanted to read it. Something inside it was calling to her, to a part of herself that lay sleeping. Her fingers trembled on the cover.
“I’m going now,” Hitomi heard herself say. She pressed the diary to her chest. “I have to go to school--Yukari and Mariko will be worried if I don’t. But I will read it,” she added.
Her mother nodded. “Go on, Dear.”
Hitomi took a step backward, then turned and quickly exited the room.
What’s going on? First that vision, and now Mom…Mom wasn’t supposed to say that. Hitomi slipped the diary into her bag and hurried outside. Quickly she apologized for being late to Mariko, and they began their daily race. She was practically telling me to go with Van. But how can I? Even if I’ll regret it…she’s not supposed to side with him!
The school was buzzing that morning with the news of the track team’s victory. Several students even congratulated Hitomi specifically on her performance. She accepted their praises graciously, and then insisted it was a team effort. They laughed at her modestly. Through it all Mariko and Yukari stayed close, never questioning but always watching. She did her best to ignore their inquiring stares--she was tired of telling people she was all right.
At lunchtime Hitomi escaped to the school roof to sit alone. She sighed deeply. The school felt so crowded to her now--so many pressing around, asking her about her well being or gossiping about her new boyfriend. She was tired of it all, and she missed Van.
Whenever I’m with him, I feel strong. He’ll come back soon; I’ll have to give him an answer.
Hitomi stared down at the item she’d brought with her: her grandmother’s diary. “I wonder if she talks about Allen’s father,” she mused aloud, tracing the bindings with her fingertips. “Is that what Mom meant? Did grandmother leave him behind, and regret it?”
She opened to the first page and began to read. It sounded like the writing of a young girl--much younger than Hitomi was now. Reading the words brought tears to her eyes for a strange reason. She wiped them away quickly and read on.
It began as any diary would; describing her home in the country, her family, her friends, and simple lifestyle. A blissful, careless childhood. Hitomi skipped a few things, eager to find whatever it as her mother had meant. Finally she came across the entry: her grandmother’s visit to Gaea.
When I looked about, I was in a strange, barren place, the diary read. And a man was there that I had never seen. He was much older than me, but very kind and lonely. He had been searching for something for a long time. We talked for several hours. He told me his name was Leon Schezar.
Hitomi paused, closing her eyes briefly. She remembered when Dryden shared this tale aboard the Crusade, and how much pain it had brought Allen to hear it. She almost felt guilty that it had been a member of her family to destroy the Schezar household. Even if father and son had come to terms, such bitter and sorrowful memories were best left buried. She sighed and continued reading.
He told me
about his family, and country, which he’d left behind. I realized that I understood his
restlessness. I, too, have sought a new
world, one within myself to escape this monotonous life. Even if we separated, I feel now that our
meeting was destined. Somehow we passed
space and time to be together for those short moments. And just by meeting him, I feel stronger on
the inside.
As soon as I
returned home I asked my parents about what had happened, and showed them the
pendant Leon gave me. They looked
frightened, but also happy. They told
me it was destiny that brought me to that place--Gaea. Our family has always been guided by
destiny, even which we make ourselves.
As a child my
parents always told me to believe in myself, and to pray for good things to
happen. But now I know the truth about
our family--our wishes are our power.
It was my wish and hope that brought me to Gaea, to gain that strange,
precious strength. Because our
ancestors did the same, when they created Gaea. It’s a world made for us; for my, my parents, and someday, for my
children.
Hitomi dropped the diary; her hands had begun to shake, and could no longer hold it. It fell shut with a soft thud. She stared at it in shocked silence for some time, trying not to believe or even comprehend what her grandmother’s words indicated.
“Kanzaki Hitomi.”
She jerked her head up. Standing several feet away was a boy wearing their black school uniform. After a moment his identity became clear to her, and she leapt to her feet. “Jovey? What are you doing here? How did you get these clothes?”
“I followed you,” Jovey replied simply. He looked pale against the black, and his stance did not look entirely stable. “The clothes I stole from a locker room.” He rotated his shoulders uncomfortably in the stifling fabric. “Has Van come back yet?”
Hitomi gulped. “No, I don’t think so. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be with Celena.”
“I’ve been looking for her.” He glanced down at the fallen diary. “What were you reading?”
Why won’t he answer me? She picked up the book and held it to her suddenly, as if its secrets were plainly visible on the cover. “It’s nothing,” she told him. “Now what’s going on? You shouldn’t be here.”
Jovey nodded vaguely. He was watching her with a strange expression; a mixture of anxiety and curiosity. “I was looking for Celena, but then I saw you. I was wondering…if you could help me understand something.” He licked his lips--she wondered what was making him so nervous. “You haven’t talked to the Sorcerer, have you? About Lord Dilandau--or Celena?”
“No, I haven’t.” Hitomi frowned as his face fell. He’s really concerned. He looks…lost. Like me. She felt foolish then for believing him a threat. He was just looking for answers, and someone to depend on. With a sigh she at down once more. “I’m sorry, Jovey, that I can’t help. I don’t know what’s going on, either.”
Jovey sat down heavily beside her. He looked exhausted. “I’ve always been chasing her,” he murmured distantly. “Even when she was him.”
“You must have been very loyal to Dilandau. Did you ever suspect…?”
“That he was a girl? God no.” He smiled humorlessly. “It never came up.”
Hitomi smiled a bit herself. “I suppose not.”
They sat momentarily in silence, lost in private thoughts. “You’re on our side, are you?” Hitomi asked finally. “You’ll help us get Celena back?”
“I’m not on your side,” Jovey answered immediately, staring straight ahead. “Because of what Van said. He said he doesn’t think she can be saved. And if that’s true, he’ll kill her.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “That’s not right. He went back to find a way to help her.”
“I believed him when he said he’d kill her.”
Hitomi shook her head, but stopped when he turned to stare at her. His eyes were intense in the knowledge they held, like something she’d seen once in Van’s eyes. “I realized something last night,” he said quietly, as if he were sharing with her something precious. “All along, we--the Dragonslayers--protected Lord Dilandau. There were a few that devoted themselves only to that; one once told us that there was something in him that needed us. The part of Lord Dilandau’s personality that he could never reveal. We believed in that secret part of him that worked so hard to defend his us. Lord Dilandau cared for us.
“That part of him was really Celena. The person Lord Dilandau wanted to be.” Jovey raised his gaze once more to the afternoon blue. “All along, it was Celena we all wanted to save, even without realizing. That’s why I’ll never betray her. Even if it means fighting Van, I’ll defend her.”
Hitomi glanced away. Despite his passionate speech, she merely felt even more distraught. “You’re lucky,” she murmured. “You have something you believe in that much.”
Jovey frowned thoughtfully. “What do you mean?”
“You can believe in something strongly. And in someone.” She stared down at the diary in her hands, filled with her grandmother’s memories and reflections. “My grandmother didn’t talk much, but she always sounded very sure of herself. Like…her life was her own.”
“And you don’t feel that way,” he surmised.
“Not at all.” Hitomi pulled her knees in close and wrapped her arms around them. “Van didn’t know me before Gaea. I had a lot of friends then, but none of them felt…close. I didn’t realize until after I came back how few of them really cared about me. Yukari was only really close friend. And I still don’t know what to do with my life.”
Jovey was watching her patiently, waiting for her to go on. She felt suddenly an overwhelming urge to trust him, because he understood her somehow, and she desperately needed support of some kind. “You have Van,” he prodded softly.
His simple words were enough. “But I don’t have Van,” Hitomi blurted out. “He’s on Gaea, and I’m here. I didn’t even believe strongly enough back then, the most important time of my life. I left without regrets. And now….” She sighed deeply and leaned her back against the chain fencing. “If Grandma’s right…I should have stayed there.”
“What do you mean? What about her?”
She opened the diary and found the right spot, then realized that he wouldn’t be able to read it. “She talks about our ancestors,” she explained, “And the power we have to make wishes come true. The power…I used it to go to Gaea, and then come back. But that power belongs to only one group of people.”
Jovey recoiled slightly. “Are you saying you’re really--“
“Of course not! That’s ridiculous.”
He frowned, not looking as agreeable as she’d hoped he would. “That would make sense, actually,” he mused. “Celena did mention she came for more than one.”
Hitomi shook her head in fierce denial. “No, stop it. How could I? There hasn’t been any on Earth for over a thousand years. Besides--I would have figured something like that out by now.”
Jovey didn’t appear convinced, but decided to let the subject drop. “In any case, I need to find Celena. She wasn’t at the Alseides. Van should be back soon, and I have to get to her first.”
Hitomi nodded vaguely. Jovey’s probably the best thing for her right now. Jovey, and Allen. Fighting Van will only make matters worse. “Do you have any idea where else she could have gone? What she might want or need to do?”
“I found the Alseides late last night. If she wasn’t there….” He paused. “She was probably looking for or track you.”
The possibility that Celena might have been spying on her gave her a momentary chill. “Wait--tracking me?”
“Of course. You’re her bait for Van, after all.”
Hitomi gulped, feeling suddenly cold and very vulnerable. “She could be watching us right now, then,” she murmured, glancing about in sudden suspicion. “If you found me, I’m sure she’d have even less trouble.”
Jovey stared at her, and his eyes grew wide. “You’re right.” Fortunately he was far less conspicuous in making a visual sweep of their surroundings. “But I don’t think she’s heard us. At least, I hope not.”
There’s nowhere to hide up here, she reasoned. If she were that close, we’d see
her. She could be anywhere around the
school, waiting. Or not at all.
This might be good for us,” she murmured. “If she’s really tracking me, then I can lead her.”
“You mean, set up a trap?” Jovey asked doubtfully.
“Not exactly.” She glanced about, and set her sights on a tall building visible above all the others. “Do you see that building to the…east? The really tall one, with the big glass doors.”
He nodded. “It’s pretty public though, isn’t it?”
“It’s the National Library. The top several floors are records storage.* Mariko’s mom works there; they’re almost always empty. Besides, I go to the library a lot, so it won’t seem suspicious.”
“You want Celena to follow you in?” Jovey demanded. “What if she just waits for you outside? I don’ think she’d risk attack you outright.”
Hitomi smiled grimly. “That’s right. Unless Van and I were both there, and she had you backing her up.” She continued before he could protest. “Just listen. If she thought that, she’d come, wouldn’t she?”
“Probably.” He was watching her warily. “But wouldn’t bringing them together start the fight we’re trying to avoid?”
“Yes. But I didn’t say Van would actually be there.”
Jovey regarded her with confusion for a moment before catching on. “You want to trick her into meeting with just the three of us? Why? Do you think you can do something?”
I have to. Briefly she remembered her vision from the day before. I can’t let Van get involved. I need to believe in myself. “I think I can help, if you’ll help, too. Together maybe we can convince her to go home, and see Allen.” Hitomi licked her lips. “Besides, if this is in any way my fault, I have to make up for it. And I can’t let Van get involved, either. I don’t want him to get hurt because of me.” I’ve caused him so much pain in the past. “You understand, don’t you?”
A faint smile touched him. “Yes, I do. I’ll keep trying to find Celena. When will we meet you in the library?”
“Thank you. We’ll meet at six on the seventh floor.” She took her watch off and gave it to him. “When the two hands form a straight line from top to bottom, it’ll be time. In the evening.”
Jovey looked the device over critically, then slipped it into his pocket. “Okay. At six, just the three of us. If I don’t find her, I’ll just come by myself.”
“Good.” Hitomi sighed, releasing some tension. She realized suddenly that classes would begin soon. “I have to go back,” she told him, scooping up the diary as she climbed to her feet. “Good luck, Jovey.”
“You too.” He stood, and nodded appreciatively. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“See you later.” Hitomi left the roof with the book pressed against her chest. I don’t have time to worry about myself, she thought deftly. Or visions that aren’t real. I have to prepare. And somehow, I’ll have to keep it a secret from Van.
Jovey waited several minutes before descending from the roof as well. Celena’s been on this planet for several days, he reasoned. I’m sure she’s found Hitomi by now. If Hitomi comes here everyday, she’d probably just wait outside. Jovey stepped out onto the pavement and glanced about. She’s got to be here. And if she is, chances are she knows I’m here, too.
Jovey started away from the school, all along keeping a constant vigil of his surroundings. He didn’t have far to go. As soon as he’d gone a few feet he caught sight of a uniformed figure sitting on a sidewalk bench. He sighed in relief. It was Celena, one slim leg crossed over the other, patiently waiting; for him, as was apparent when she signaled him over. Her eyes were calm but very serious. “Jovey.”
“Celena.” He seated himself beside her, hoi g dearly that she hadn’t heard their plan. His mind buzzed, coming up with possibilities. “I knew if I found Hitomi, I’d find you.”
She nodded slowly, and faintly smiled, to his relief. “I’m glad to see you up,” she said. “I thought it’d take longer, but you look all right. How is your arm?”
“Not completely healed, but better. I see you stole yourself a uniform.” Either she doesn’t suspect, or she’s playing me, too. Looking at her, though, she seemed oblivious to his plans.
“You too.” Celena glanced away. “By the way, what did you talk about up there?”
His heart jumped, then settled once more. There was only curiosity in her tone. He thought briefly that she should have been suspicious, but then, she hadn’t doubted him so far. She even seemed to be depending on him. He decided to assume all was well.”
“Actually, Van is coming back today,” Jovey set their plot into motion. “Hitomi and I have arranged a meeting--just the four of us, to end this. It’s not for several hours, though, so we have time to prepare.”
Celena hummed thoughtfully. “Where?”
“Inside a building.” She frowned, and he hastily explained. “It’ll be empty, and we’ll be left alone. If you fight in the open, their soldiers might interfere.”
“And we can’t go to the Alseides, because Van has the energists,” she added. “I won’t risk him using it against me.” She smiled at him. “Good, Jovey. That’ll be good. I’m glad you’re here. Now that you’re better, you won’t leave again.”
Jovey frowned, as her voice had changed somehow when she said that. “It hasn’t been too hard on you, has it?” he asked carefully. “Being in this city alone.”
Celena flinched. She wrapped her arms around her middle as if cold. “No. No, it wasn’t bad. Just don’t leave me alone anymore.”
“Celena….” God, what did they do to her? Will she ever be all right again? He touched her shoulder, and suddenly she edged closer, leaning against him. Her body felt thin and fragile, like a child’s. “I won’t go anywhere,” he told her softly. “I promise.”
*no, I’m not talking about the Important Documents Reference Room ^o^