Chapter Twenty-Two: "Whoever You Really Are."

The next morning, Tseng’s appearance at breakfast prevented the conversation from focusing on the problems at hand. Instead they chatted about their adventures—particular interest was placed in Cloud’s experience as a lizard. Afterwards everyone began to split up: Sabin met with Locke and Cid and the three wandered off, grateful for the male company; Cait Sith led Nadia and Crono on a tour of the village; and Lucca took Tifa to meet with Belthasar and Mog to discuss what had happened, Nanaki following. That left Celes to lead Cloud away, and on an impulse she invited Aeris to come as well. "I want to tell you the truth," she said quietly, taking his hand. "You deserve to know."

"Mr. Locke told me you have Glenn here," Aeris spoke up. "Do you mind if I see him first? I want to hear, though, if you don’t mind."

"All right. I’d like to check on him myself."

Glenn tried to sit up as the three entered, but Celes pushed him back down. "You’re too weak. Stay put."

But he pushed her gently aside anyway. As Aeris approached he dropped to his knees before her and hung his head in homage. "I was waiting for you, Miss Aeris," he said huskily. "Forgive me for not recognizing you earlier, as I was preoccupied and careless."

Aeris blinked rapidly, exchanging a shrug with Cloud. "That’s okay, I guess. I didn’t recognize you." She smiled. "Whoever you really are."

"Glenn Fuji." He lifted his gaze to her, and his eyes gleamed with respect. "Many years ago I swore an oath to find the last of the Cetra and protect her with my life. I know now that you’re the one."

Celes frowned, remembering who the girl was. "So, you really are a Cetra?"

Aeris nodded, her manner light. "Yup. The last one." She knelt down in front of Glenn. "I really appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. You should worry about your injury." She smiled and helped him back toward the bed. "Get some rest so you’ll be some use to me, okay? Cloud will protect me until you’re better."

Cloud crossed his arms. "What are you talking about?"

Glenn was about to protest, but thought better of it. He allowed Aeris to tuck him in once more. "I’m concerned, though," he said, his golden orb eyes constantly trained on her. For a moment he allowed his gaze to shift. "Now that the Father and Mother are united."

Celes shifted uncomfortably, and she could feel everyone’s eyes on her. "I’m going to tell Cloud the truth," she announced, readying herself for what was to come. "All of it."

"I’d like to hear," Glenn replied, "and I suggest you let Miss Aeris hear as well. As an Ancient, her advice will do you well."

"It’s up to Cloud."

Cloud sank into one of the room’s chairs, elbows resting on his thighs. "I don’t care. Let them all listen." His expression melted into a look of calm attentiveness, and his voice was firm with the convictions he’d formed in himself. "I’ve waited a long time for this. I’m ready."

Aeris seated herself near him, and Celes took a place at the foot of Glenn’s bed. "If you want me to stop at any time," she started with, "just let me know. You don’t have to listen." She thought briefly of Coby and the fate he’d met at this man’s hands, and shuddered, but then quickly pushed the event from her mind.

"Yes, I do. I want to." His fingers interlocked, as if searching for some support within himself.

"Okay, from the beginning." She took a deep breath. "You were never in SOLDIER, First Class," she began, and he flinched. She continued. "I found all your records, and seven years ago you applied to join. You were rejected during the second round of examinations, as the personnel member assigned to you didn’t think you had what it took mentally. But you were still pretty good and were assigned to Sephiroth’s division, along with Zack."

"Zack?" His brow furrowed. "But Zack was—"

"A member of SOLDIER, First Class. Five years ago you were assigned to investigate the Nibelheim reactor. You, Sephiroth, Zack, and another soldier."

"Crono," Aeris filled in. "Crono Vedic was the other soldier."

Celes gazed at her a bit curiously, then went on. "No one knows exactly what happened, but ten days later you arrived in Midgar—unconscious—along with Tifa and Zack. Zack died shortly afterwards and Tifa was later released. But you stayed." She watched him carefully for a reaction. "You were exposed to Mako and made a part of SOLDIER, but there were complications. Hojo, Lucca and I spent five years trying to correct the mistakes with drugs and treatments, but it wasn’t enough. You were eventually released, which is when you met Aeris, I suppose."

Cloud stared at the floor. He rubbed his eyes. There was no disbelief or confusion in him—only a dull weariness seeping through his muscles and bones as the physical proof of his mind’s exhaustion. "But it feels so real," he murmured, allowing no emotion to steal into his voice. "It can’t be lies. How can my memory be a lie? Where did it all come from?"

"I don’t know," the general admitted. "You yourself may have made it up unrealizing—"

"That’s impossible."

Celes and Aeris exchanged glances, then looked to Glenn, who had been listening silently. Feeling their eyes on him coaxed a response. "It is possible," he said quietly. "The mind plays all sorts of tricks. Jenova herself could have planted those memories inside you, but somehow I think it’s less complicated than that."

"Are you saying that I made it up?" Cloud demanded, rising to his feet. "That they are lies, and I created them to fool you all?"

"You may not have done it willingly."

Aeris stood and tried to ease him back. "Calm down Cloud," she said. "Don’t worry about it right now."

But he would have none of it. "How can you accuse me—me, when you’re the murderer!" he shouted at Glenn. "You think you’re better than me, but think again. I can’t help the fact that they screwed with my head, but you—"

"Cloud, stop it." Celes stepped between them and shoved Cloud into the chair; she surprised them all with her force. "You don’t even know this man. You have no right be act like you hate him—you weren’t one of us."

He glared at her, jaw tightening. "I’ll never forgive him, because Sephiroth never will," he spat. There was something inside him that he couldn’t explain: a kind of resentment for this man. "Sephiroth hates him even more than he hates—"

Cloud broke off and looked away in shame at the words he’d intended. A look of anxiety and confusion played across his face. "I’ve been thinking," he said hesitantly, "about the Father Angel. I think I know what it means." He licked his lips. "It means that Sephiroth was inside me, doesn’t it? I know now. In the swamps that man in the cloak didn’t kill the Midgar Zolom—I did, with the power Sephiroth gave me. He used me to get back to Nibelheim in order to reclaim his body. And now…he’s gone." With tentative longing he removed his gloves and took the general’s hand. His fingers tingled with the swell of gentle power within her. "I can feel it in you. I…"

Aeris stepped forward and pulled their hands apart. "Don’t talk like that." She silently took Celes’ place. "You don’t need that kind of power—you’re Cloud, not Sephiroth, and you’re better than him."

Cloud gazed up at her, and tried several times before he was able to speak. "But you don’t know what it’s like. It’s like losing something you never knew was there, and being lost without it. I…" Again he averted his eyes. "Five years of being with him is having an affect on me. I’m not sure how it happened, but what do I do now? What if he tries to control me again? Could I resist?"

She watched him a moment, studying the look on his face. "No," she answered softly. "Because as you are now, you want him back, don’t you?"

He blinked rapidly, his face twisting, but just then the door opened, and President Rufus stepped inside with Professor Hojo. Mog was there as well, hanging behind. "I heard you all might be here," the President said. "The Father and Mother in one room with an Ancient and a SOLDIER Hunter. Who would have imagined?"

Celes glared at him. "What do you want, Rufus?" she asked coldly.

"Just to extend an invitation." He strode further into the room confidently. "You see, tomorrow morning my ship the Highwind will set off for Gold Saucer. There’s an object there we need, and then we are going to an island in the Mideel region, the location of the Temple of the Ancients. I’d like you to come along."

Glenn pushed himself into a sitting position. "You’re going to the temple," he repeated darkly. "Why?"

"To get the Black Materia," he replied easily, gesturing a hand behind him. "My friend Mog told me all about it."

"Mog?" Celes’s glare snapped to the creature with a look of betrayal. "You…you told them about the Black Materia?" Her voice rose in anger. "I thought moogles don’t interfere with fate."

"Apparently they do," Rufus replied in his stead. "But in any case, will you accompany us? All of you are welcomed, of course."

"You just need me to get in," Aeris said with amusement. "And Cloud and General Celes so that you can keep and eye on them, right?"

He crossed his arms cooly. "Will you cooperate or not?"

They all exchanged glances, and Celes glared steadily at Mog. The moogle didn’t act as if he saw. "You can’t go," Glenn hissed weakly, his voice filled with urgency. "It’s what Sephiroth expects, and he’ll be waiting for you."

"It’ll be worth it if we get the Black Materia, right?" said Aeris. "It’s important. We’ll be okay."

"No, you don’t understand. You can’t go."

Hojo stepped forward then, his expression curious. "And why not?"

Glenn switched focuses. He swallowed hard, fighting visibly between answers. "Sephiroth will be waiting." His gaze danced between the President and Aeris, as if hoping she would catch some inner meaning he was trying to convey. "You can’t beat him. You’ll all be killed—it isn’t worth it."

"We’ve taken precautions," Rufus assured, clearly unfazed by the ill tidings, "and I intend to go with or without you, Mr. Fuji. But the Ancient’s—Miss Aeris’s—help is invaluable to us."

"Then I guess I’ll come." She smiled secretively. "Who else is coming?"

The President nodded approval. "Professor Hojo and I, as well as my aid Scarlet. Miss Rannel and Miss Lockheart have also voiced their wish to join."

Cloud’s eyes sparked. "Then I will."

"I was hoping you would."

"If we’re going," Celes spoke up, "then we might as well go as soon as possible. Sephiroth was here recently."

Rufus nodded. "We may be able to beat him. That’s fine—we’ll leave in a few hours." He turned to leave, and then paused to say, "Thank you for your help, Mog." Mog didn’t reply.

"I assume you’re feeling better now," said Hojo, moving over to Celes as the President exited. "Any complications?"

"I’m just fine, thank you." She looked away from him, swiftly leaving the room. "Can I speak with you a moment, Mog?"

He nodded and followed without a word. Hojo left soon after, and just as Cloud and Aeris began to as well Glenn stopped them. "You don’t understand," he told them hoarsely. "I can’t protect you in this condition, on another continent. You can’t go—you’re wasting your time—"

"Glenn, it’s all right." Aeris smiled, easing him back. "Stay here and we’ll handle it—I can take care of myself, after all. Like I said before: Cloud will help."

"But—"

"Shh. Not another word." She patted him on the head, took Cloud’s hand, and quickly left before he could protest further. Once out of the room they came upon Celes and Mog.

"You’ll understand soon enough," the short white creature was saying. "Finding the Black Materia is more complicated than you think, and getting and using it is even harder. It can only be used in one specific place. That’s all I can tell you."

Celes looked as if she was going to lose her temper, but Aeris took her arm. "Thank you, Mog," she said brightly. "We trust you."

Mog nodded and started to go. The general ground her teeth and forced herself silent, but as soon as he’d gone she hissed a string of curses. "The last thing we need is Rufus getting involved. You know what he’d do with the most destructive magic known to the cosmos?"

"Actually, it might be easier if we join forces," Aeris mused. "They have more resources, and even though that Hojo guy’s really creepy, he’s got a good idea of what’s going on, right? Besides, we’d have to deal with Shin-ra eventually anyway."

"She’s got a point," agreed Cloud. "We’re the important ones—they’ll have to work on our terms."

Celes sighed. "I still don’t like it. And since when has Mog handed out information to greedy executives? I doesn’t make sense."

"We’ll have time to deal with him when we get back," Aeris rejoined. "But right now we have to prepare. I want to get these clothes washed before we go." Waving goodbye she skipped away down the hall.

Several hours of busy preparation later the Highwind was ready for its journey. Everyone gathered at the exit of Cosmo Canyon to see the group off. "Take care," Belthasar advised. "We’ll do all we can from here."

Celes shook his hand and nodded, but then frowned. "Where’s Locke?" she asked, searching the faces for him. "I thought he’d be here to see us off."

"I have not seen him. Should I send someone to look?"

"No, it’s all right." Still looking disturbed she boarded the ship with everyone else. "We’ll come back as soon as possible."

"Good luck."

Tifa turned to Sabin, surprised that he had followed her into the ship. "Oh, Sabin, you’re coming too?"

"Yeah; said they could use some extra muscle," he replied easily.

She smiled good-naturedly. "Well, then I’m sure you’re the right guy to bring."

Sabin laughed as they started towards their quarters. "If that’s a compliment, I accept. Thanks, Tifa."

"Anytime big guy." Still laughing they split up into their rooms.

Celes was given her own quarters near the back of the ship, and as she entered came upon Professor Hojo waiting for her. "Good afternoon, General Celes," he greeted in his odd, tight-lipped manner. "I was hoping you’d let me give you a checkup, so to speak."

She scowled, dropping her bag of things on the bed—extra clothing given to her by the people of Cosmo Canyon. "I hope I haven’t misunderstood your meaning, professor," she snarled.

"My dear Celes, what do you take me for?" He pulled a syringe out of his pocket as well as a small device which he placed on the table. "I simply wish to run a test on your blood, to see if the treatment is holding up."

"Of course." She moved to the closet, mildly curious as to what might lay inside, and pushed the door open. She nearly gasped in surprise, and quickly shut the door once more with a heavy slam.

Hojo frowned. "Something the matter?"

"Not at all." Celes moved away from the closet, rolling up her sleeve. "You need some blood?"

"Yes. Thank you for cooperating." He took the shot quickly and emptied the contents into his devise.

She watched him carefully, and asked, "Are you checking it for Jenova?"

The professor chuckled faintly. "That would be a waste of time," he murmured with amusement. "You’ve always had Jenova in you, and that’s not ever going to change."

Celes glared at him in alarm, though by now she should have known to expect such an answer. "What?"

He sighed almost wistfully. "Well, since we’re going, I might as well tell you. Members of SOLDIER aren’t those exposed to Mako; they’re injected with cells from the Ancient Jenova."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come come, Celes. Certainly you knew that." His dark eyes glinted. "Jenova is the name of a woman, one that, 2000 years ago, was completely saturated with what we call the Jenova Virus. It’s actually an alien parasite, or so the late Dr. Gast confirmed. It was his idea to inject Jenova’s poisoned tissue into humans. Those humans are now known as SOLDIER members."

"That’s not possible," she whispered, sinking into a chair in disbelief. Her hand wandered to her forehead, as she felt suddenly dizzy. "All this time we had Jenova inside us? Why didn’t we know?"

"It was easier to say you were exposed to Mako," he explained. "Less complicated. But the truth is you were all being injected with cells from different parts of Jenova’s body. I believe this fact is what allowed Sephiroth’s strong influence to control them." His device sounded a quiet announcement, and he began to adjust the dials on the small screen connected to it. "I’m sure you saw Delita’s body in Gongaga. We gave him cells from Jenova’s lungs. Well, you know how rebellion-prone he always was, and my best guest is that he tried to defy an order from Sephiroth."

Celes inhaled sharply through her teeth, her mind spinning with the information. "Just like what Tifa told me about Cecil," she murmured, recalling the scene of Delita’s body in her mind. "Delita’s chest was blown apart. His lungs—"

"Were rejected from the rest of his body," the professor confirmed. "If the virus doesn’t approve of its host, it leaves them."

"But then what’s inside me?" she demanded, putting her hand over her abdomen. "Was that thing that crawled inside me the parasite? Will I end up like Jenova, mutated and inhuman?"

"Most likely. Ahh, splendid." He gazed at the screen’s report, and a grin slithered across his thin lips.

"What?" Celes leaned over him, trying to see.

Hojo stood, tucking the device back into his pocket. "As you know I have always suffered from a terminal heart illness," he told her, unusually pleased with himself. "My science was unable to devise a cure, so I turned to a less practical method. I injected you with the disease, but as I expected, you’re already tainted blood was able to kill it."

"You what?"

The closet door burst open suddenly, and Locke charged out with a vengeance. "You little piece of shit," he hissed, shoving the professor into the room’s table. He nearly toppled the furniture. "You think you can just play god with other people’s lives for your experiments? You son of a—"

"Locke, back off," Celes commanded, separating the two. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

Hojo leaned against the table for balance, shaken by the sudden assault. "Looks like a stowaway," he muttered.

"You’re damn right," he growled. "You didn’t expect me to stay behind, did you? But never mind that now." He jabbed at the professor with an accusing finger. "Stay away from her, you hear me? You’ve been taking advantage of her from the start. They’re people, not puppets."

"Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, Mr. Cole." He grinned. "We are all Jenova’s puppets, and the general especially. I am merely studying the phenomenon."

"Why you little—" Locke broke out of Celes’ hold, grabbing him by the collar. He flung the man harshly into the ground. But before Locke could do more he was again caught. Hojo tried to stand but only managed to reach a kneeling position, coughing and sputtering. He gripped the front of his white lab coat as if in pain.

"Locke, he wasn’t joking." Celes pushed him aside and helped the professor to his feet. She was surprised by how fragile his older body was. "Professor Hojo, you’d better leave," she advised. "I’ll deal with him."

Hojo’s bony hand snapped around her wrist suddenly, and she started in fright. He held it tightly for a moment before letting go. "I suppose I had better," he muttered gruffly, checking to make sure none of the many items in his pockets had broken. "Thank you for your help, Celes." After a moment of reclaiming his balance and dignity he left.

Celes sighed, closing the door behind him. Her narrowed gaze then fell on Locke. "Now. Explain."

"Celes, I had to come," he said loudly, crossing the room to her. "The Temple of the Ancients is the chance of a lifetime—it’s the biggest treasure chest in the world! And do you think Shin-ra’d let someone like me come along?"

"I don’t know," she admitted, crossing her arms. "Tifa and Sabin are coming."

"Well, they’re important. Besides, I told you about the Keystone, right? They need me to get it."

Still she appeared unconvinced. "We’re already going to get it from Gold Saucer."

"Well, it is, but—aw, damn." He turned away, considered a moment, then turned back. "You see, I have to come because, well, that is…"

Celes smiled faintly, rolling her eyes. "It’s okay, Locke, I know." Her voice lowered just barely in pitch. "For Rachael, right? The Phoenix Materia?"

"Well…not just that…" He hesitated, suddenly unsure. Somehow it felt more complicated than that. "I mean…"

"Don’t worry about it. Thanks for standing up for me, though." She put a hand on his shoulder. "I appreciate it. Now why don’t you take your stuff and see if Sabin’s got room for you with him. I’ll talk to Rufus."

Locke grinned and retrieved a small bag he’d hidden in the closet. "Thanks, Celes. I knew you’d understand."

"Yeah. Just stay out of trouble."

"You know me." He winked.

The general exhaled heavily and smiled. But as soon as he’d gone her manner became grim, and she sank onto the bed. She covered her face with her hand.

Inhuman…?

"Looks like it’s gonna be a long trip," said Aeris, flopping down on the bed. "At least seven hours, wasn’t it?"

"Almost. We’re not going to Mideel, though—we’re going to Gold Saucer." Lucca pushed her glasses further up her nose. "But you’re right, and staying on an airship for that long isn’t exactly my choice for ideal transportation."

Tifa sat down next to them. "Ditto. But at least we’re not on foot."

"Or in Setzer’s buggy."

The door opened, and in stepped Elena, youngest member of the Turks. "We’ve run out of rooms," she said, "so I guess I’m staying with you."

The trio exchanged glances. "I thought this thing had seven rooms," the young scientist mused.

"It does, but they’re all taken." She set her stuff down on the bed nearest the door. "Anyway, four beds, four people, right? Gotta make do." She sat down and removed her shoes in the awkward silence that followed. Her manner was rigid and anxious, as if their presence unnerved her as much as hers did them.

"Well, as long as we’re working together," Aeris said warmly, "why don’t we all get to know each other?" She turned to the Turk. "You haven’t been in Shin-ra long, have you?" she asked with the abrupt curiosity of a child. "You haven’t tried to kidnap me yet."

Elena was startled for a moment, then smiled. "There’ll be time for that later, I guess," she replied.

She giggled. "Yup. So…how long?"

Tifa looked to Lucca, who shrugged. The scientist had had her own share of rough times with the blond, but now her logic argued that holding a grudge wasn’t going to make the trip pleasant. They moved closer to her, as there wasn’t much else for them to do.

"I’ve been working as a Turk for only a few months," she confirmed. "It’s good work—interesting." She took off her navy suit jacket. "Kind of hard working with all men, though."

The ship began to growl as its propellers roared to life, and the huge engines hummed. Elena glanced out the room’s small porthole window as the ground began to disappear beneath them. "At least we’re underway."

Outside, Cid stared up at the Highwind as it slowly lifted off the ground. He exhaled smoke from his cigarette. "She’s a beauty," he murmured, watching with awe as the airship—once his airship—turned to the north and heading with the sun flashing along its side. He felt the wind from the propellers beating against his hair and clothes, and for a moment he imagined that he was there on the bridge, drifting through the atmosphere.

Nanaki scratched his ear, then paused to study the man’s expression. "You miss it, don’t you?"

"Yeah." He took another breath on the tobacco. "Long time ago, though. Too many damn years." He turned away and started back for the village. "Oh well. Looks like I’ll be stuck here a while, anyway. I’m going to get lunch."

"So what about us?" Cait Sith asked from his moogle. "Are we just supposed to sit tight until they get back?"

"There is much for us to do here," Belthasar replied calmly. "Once they have the Black Materia we’ll have to find a suitable way to deal with it."

"Well, I for one plan to enjoy the break," declared Nadia. "Killer SOLDIERs and dragons and world-threatening-psychotics—too much for me. I need a vacation." She knocked Crono’s shoulder. "Come on; lunch doesn’t sound like a bad idea. You too, Cait Sith."

The cat raised an eyebrow. "Dolls don’t eat."

"Well, whatever." She took Crono’s sleeve so as to not get stuck in his silence field, and hoped that its inability to work on her was an indication of it wearing off. "But I’m starving. Are you coming or not?"

"Okay, okay."

She smiled. "Great. Let’s go." With a cheerful air she started after Cid and Nanaki.

Belthasar took one last look at the Highwind as it became swallowed in the afternoon’s low clouds. "Good luck, all," he murmured. "And God speed."

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