Chapter Twenty: "I Can’t Answer Your Questions"

Four white walls.

A door. A table.

One man, one woman.

Questions.

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand.

Impatience. There was a definite air of impatience, and anger, and frustration. Angry eyes and weary sighs. Tell me what happened, she says. Back then.

***************

Cloud was in a room. It was silent and very bright, as the walls were white and light reflected off of them in every direction. He was seated at a table that was only a few feet long, and on the opposite side of the table was a woman. Tifa. She didn’t look like Tifa, but she said she was Tifa and he would answer her questions. She asked him again. "Cloud." Her voice was very soft. "Won’t you please tell me what really happened in Nibelheim?"

But the truth was strange. He told her everything he remembered. They came to reactor. They left. Sephiroth was upset. The town burned. He went back to the reactor.

"…I wanted to kill him. He killed my mother, and he destroyed my town…"

"…so I followed him to the reactor, but he was too strong, and…"

"…I fell off the gangway. It was a long way down, and all I could think was…"

"…Tifa. I wanted to kill Tifa…"

"…I wanted to save Tifa…"

"…I was confused…"

"…so I fell down the steps, and I could taste blood in…"

"…the reactor swallowed me up. I was falling, falling…"

"…dark…that’s all that I remember…"

"…I destroyed Nibelheim…"

"…My mother, I wanted to…"

"…see her…"

"…kill her…"

"…Tifa…"

"…Sephiroth…"

"…I should have let them both…"

***************

Cloud slowly opened his eyes. For a moment all he could see was the room with the four white walls, and the face of the woman that was and was not Tifa, but then something else came upon him. It was the scent of fresh flowers; tiny, pink flowers. Delicate flowers. Their smell was intoxicating, alluring, and the white-walled room and the woman melted into the background. The flowers were simple, and real. He wanted reality.

Aeris yawned, leaning against the side wall of the truck bed. They’d started out that morning with Cid driving, Sabin up front and the rest of them piled in the back with tarps to protect them from the harsh sunlight. She was sore from so much traveling, but she wasn’t about to start complaining. I should be thankful for not having to walk anymore in those mountains! But I guess that’s the least of our worries anyway…Cloud’s having a tougher time than we are.

She glanced at the ill member of their party, noting that his face was presently quite calm. But then she paused, realizing with a start that his eyes were open. He stared listlessly up at the blue tarps, blinking slowly. She leaned over him. "Cloud, are you awake?"

He didn’t answer immediately, and for a moment she wondered if he’d even heard her. Finally he asked, "Where?"

"We’re on our way to another town," she replied, snapping her fingers to get Tifa’s attention. Tifa didn’t hear over the bouncing clatter of the truck. "We’re going to meet up with some friends. How do you feel?"

"Where?" His eyes never shifted in their direction, nor did he attempt to face her. "I smell flowers. Where…?" His voice trailed off, and he said no more.

"Cloud?" Aeris touched his face, and his entire body jolted at the physical touch. At last Tifa’s attention was drawn, and she moved closer. "Talk to me, please. Do you remember what happened?"

"Why…don’t ask…everyone…asks…" He closed his eyes. "I don’t know what happened. I never knew. I don’t now. I can’t answer your questions."

Tifa and Aeris exchanged glances, both confused. "It’s okay, Cloud," Tifa assured gently. "Don’t worry about it now. We won’t ask."

"No. You were supposed to kill me." Both girls were startled at his words as he turned his head to stare at them. His eyes were cold and hollow. "I am the Father Angel, aren’t I? That’s all I know. But what does that mean?"

Tifa bit her lip. "I don’t know, Cloud," she admitted. "But we’ll find out, okay? It’ll be all right. No one is going to kill anyone."

Cloud shook his head sadly, and again his eyes closed. He sighed heavily. "You should have killed me when you had the chance," he muttered. "Now it’s too late. I can’t answer your questions…"

"Cloud?" She nudged him, but he didn’t respond. "Cloud, tell me what you mean. I don’t understand. I—"

Aeris touched her arm and shook her head. "He’s gone under again, I think. Don’t worry about it Tifa—he’s just a bit scared. He’ll be okay."

"I hope so."

In the front seat, Sabin had just finished outlining the group’s story for Cid. The Captain exhaled a cloud of smoke and shook his head. "Damn, that’s some messed up deal you’ve got. Sounds like a wild ride."

"And that’s the abridged version," Sabin said wearily. "Not to mention we still have a ways to go. Trying to kill someone like Sephiroth…now that’ll be the hardest part."

"And what a group. Must be a hell’uv’a trip, hauling around three women like that." He paused. "Any of ’em yours?"

Sabin, who had been leaning against the dash, sat back and crossed his arms. "Naw, not really. They’re all hooked up on someone."

He caught the tone in the man’s voice, and smiled a bit. "But you have your eyes on one." Sabin shifted, and he laughed. "Yeah, thought so. Don’t worry, kid; women’re like that."

"I’m not a kid," he objected. "I’m twenty-five."

"Yeah, still a kid."

He rolled his eyes. "Not that you can give me advise," he retorted stiffly. "Tifa says you’ve been living with that woman Shera for three years."

"Seven," Cid corrected, "as room mates. And don’t get any damn wise ass ideas."

"I wasn’t, I wasn’t." Sabin grinned humorously. "Believe me, I’m the last one that’ll say anything."

Celes didn’t come to breakfast that morning, and Locke quickly became worried. After an hour of searching he finally discovered her in the last place he’d thought possible: Glenn’s room. She was sitting beside the bed, dressed in a new yellow sun dress, her blond hair untied and spilling over her milky white shoulders. Her eyes were cold. Mog was there too, silent and withdrawn. They were both watching the SOLDIER Hunter’s pale form.

Mog lifted his head at the intrusion, but he said nothing. Celes didn’t seem to notice Locke at all. He stepped forward slowly, closing the door behind him. "What’s going on?"

"The Regain you cast on him isn’t working very well," said Mog, crossing his chubby arms.

"It worked on me when Celes cast it in Gongaga. Couldn’t have healed so fast if it didn’t."

"Well, it’s not working on him." He waved for him to come closer. "I’ve tried some tricks of my own, but they’ve all been pretty much duds."

Locke moved over next to him, frowning at his friend’s condition. He’d never seen him seriously injured before, and the sight was unsettling. "Glenn’s different," he murmured thoughtfully. "He’s…well, some things don’t apply to him, I guess."

"Kupo," the tiny animal grunted. "That may cost him his life."

He nodded, then glanced at Celes. She was quiet and thoughtful, but her expression seemed almost satisfied; another frightening sight, as she was never satisfied with anything that happened. As a general she was always striving for the better outcome. His mind buzzed with questions. Why was Celes acting so strangely, and what did it have to do with Mog and Glenn? He knew better to expect any of the general’s compassion to ever be directed toward Glenn, but still her behavior was anomalous—and unacceptable.

"Celes, could I talk to you in your room?" the treasure hunter asked abruptly. "It’s important."

She raised her head and nodded mystifyingly. Her movements were unusually graceful that morning. She followed him without a word to her room, where upon she seated herself on the bed edge and waited for him to speak.

"Tell me what Sephiroth did to you," he said firmly, crouching down in front of her. "I don’t care if I don’t understand it all, but you have to tell me. You’re not yourself."

She regarded him calmly. "Who do you think I am?"

"What?" He shook his head. "No games, Celes. Just tell me what happened."

Celes smiled softly, but it was an unnatural expression on her face; one that clashed with the coldness in her blue eyes. "Don’t be afraid of me, Locke," she said. "I’ve just been thinking—understanding a few things. But I can’t blame you for being concerned. It’s just your way."

Locke started to speak, then stopped himself as her hand touched his. The sensation was startling. His hand tingled with heat like that of a fire on his palm, and it quickly spread throughout the rest of him. It was unlike any power he’d felt before—it was fierce and without control. He realized a moment later that he was shaking. "Celes," he breathed, trying to pull away, "what is this?"

"You’re not a very strong man, are you?" Her other hand reached out, touching briefly the flesh of his cheek. The strange feeling was there too, and it frightened him. "You’ve been running away all this time. You think you can change the past. You think that she can hear you, forgive you." Her touch wandered over his face, sending almost painful shivers through him. "You hid behind your smile, but you’re dying, aren’t you?"

"Celes what are you doing?" His stomach twisted, and he felt distraught and confused. Her words awoke emotions in him he’d tried to leave behind, as if she were toying with his most sacred of memories and feelings. It was cruel and unfair. "Why…?"

She slipped off the bed, kneeling in front of him. Her fingers, burning the caress across his skin, moved over his lips. "You can’t save her," she whispered. "You can’t do anything. Everything you hold dear will be taken from you."

Locke inhaled sharply as an image entered his sight: Gongaga. It was just after the reactor had been destroyed, and bodies littered the charred landscape in heaps. The scene was grotesquely real, so much so that he could even smell the smoke—and the blood. "Why are you doing this?" he said tremulously, and he watched the view change to a destroyed house and the corpse of a woman in a red dress. "Celes, stop."

The next moment he experienced holding the body in his arms. It was cold and stiff. "Celes, stop it," he pleaded, trying to back away. He couldn’t move. The dead woman’s eyes stared into his, and a chill conflicted with the heat in his flesh. "I don’t want to see this. Leave me alone—"

Blood covered his hands. He could feel it seeping into the lines of his palms, saturating him with its sickening wet stain. He could taste it on his lips; it filled his senses. The world melted away and all he knew was the smell and the bitter taste of her life spent, pouring over him.

Locke finally pushed away, unable to stand the overpowering illusions. He stumbled to the room’s waste basket and vomited. Away from Celes’ strange touch the heat left him, but the visions never did. He wiped his face. "Celes…"

The door opened suddenly, and Lucca marched in. "Celes, we’ve got problems. A ship just landed off shore, and—" She stopped, sniffed the air, and grimaced. "God, what is that? Are you okay?"

Locke climbed shakily to his feet. "It was me," he answered quietly. He pressed his hand against the wall to steady him. "I’m not feeling well." He looked to Celes.

The general rose, but her eyes refused to meet his. "What about the ship?"

"It’s Shin-ra," she said, and any concerns she may have had about the treasure hunter were quickly forgotten. "They’re on their way here, according to Nanaki—Rufus and Scarlet and Hojo, along with a group of soldiers."

"Then we’d better find out what they want." Celes sounded, more or less, back to her original self. "Why don’t you stay here, Locke? We’ll take care of it."

"No, I’m okay. I’ll come." He watched her very carefully, and found no trace of the odd spell that had come over her only moments before. It lingered with him, however, and his gut churned with the terrifying images. He followed the two women outside.

By the time they made it to the town entrance Rufus’ party had reached the gates. Belthasar was there with Cait Sith, speaking to Rufus. Celes approached them swiftly. "Good morning, Mr. President," she greeted contemptuously. "It’s a surprise to see you so far form Midgar."

"Business," he snorted in reply. As always Dark Nation was at his side, and his shot gun. "I’m not here for you. I want to speak to Cloud Strife."

"He isn’t here."

"Then we’ll wait until he gets here," Scarlet interrupted. "I’m sure accommodations can be made for the president of the Shin-ra company."

Belthasar’s voice, when he spoke, was quiet and calm. "I’m afraid that title doesn’t mean much to us here, but Cosmo Canyon has always welcomed those in need of shelter."

"I knew you’d be reasonable," Rufus rejoined. "We’ll require much space, and few questions. We’re staying until Strife arrives."

"How do you know he will?"

"Oh, he will." Hojo stepped forward then, his beady eyes locked on Celes. "He’s on his way right now. There are many things I’d like to discuss with that man."

The general’s eyes narrowed defensively. "If you touch him, I’ll strike you dead, I swear it."

"I’ll be careful," he replied. "But until then, perhaps I might have a word with you, General Celes?"

She glared at him. "Certainly."

"I’ll take you to a room, Mr. Shin-ra," Cait Sith volunteered, "and you too, Miss Scarlet." He frowned at the band of a dozen soldiers that were lined up behind them. "Don’t know about all your GI Joe friends, though."

Rufus signaled for the first three to step forward. "These will stay with us. The rest will set up camp outside the village. Is that satisfactory?"

The cat shrugged. "I suppose."

The group began to split up, and Lucca turned to Locke. "I don’t like this," She muttered. "Shin-ra getting involved—I used to work for them, you know. They’re up to something."

He nodded vaguely. "Yeah, but right now I’m more worried about Celes. She’s acting strangely." He sighed. "’Strange’ is an understatement, actually."

"How so?"

"I can’t explain it right now." He watched as Celes and Hojo moved away together. "I want to hear them. Keep an eye on Rufus if you can, so he’ll stay away from Glenn’s room. If they find him…" He shook his head. "Just do it, please. We’ll talk later."

Lucca was obviously unsatisfied with his plan, and made an appropriate face. "I want to know what’s going on," she said tightly. "Tell me now or I’m not doing anything."

"Just do it," he snapped with far more force than was normal to him, and she blinked rapidly in surprise. "I don’t have time to argue—just go, okay? Be careful." Without waiting for a reply he turned and started following Celes away from the main gate. Defeated, Lucca set off on her own task.

"It’s been a while, General Celes," Hojo was saying as Locke crept into hearing range. "You’ve done well."

"As you expected, I suppose." Her voice was harsh and cruel. "You’ve been toying, Professor. You don’t understand. Sephiroth is not your son—he is mine. They are all mine."

He gazed at her thoughtfully, and an amused smile touched his expression. "Ah, I see. You are not General Celes, then."

"It matters not what name you give me," she replied.

"True, but still…you are the creature, then? The one that once existed inside Jenova?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Locke felt himself shaking, and forced himself to stop a moment before continuing after them. What was going on? He strained to hear.

"Splendid," Hojo said, and he imagined that the man was gleaming with excitement. "My theory was correct. Absolutely splendid."

"You’re boring me," Celes remarked. "Get on with it."

He nodded, and they entered the village’s lowest tier. The conversation ceased for a moment as they passed several groups of people. "I wanted to ask you about Cloud," the professor continued as they were left alone. "He is the Father Angel, correct?"

"Yes."

"I want to know what that name entitles him to."

Celes stopped walking, and her eyes closed briefly. When she opened her eyes again, something had changed. "I have nothing to say to you, Professor Hojo. I won’t let you continue your ways—Shin-ra is going to crumble, and so are you. Your monstrosities with you. Now, we having nothing further to discuss."

"Oh, but we do." Hojo grinned. "We’ll have much to discuss. I am the one that gave you life, after all."

"You take advantage of my power and insult me with your creations. My gratitude lies only in Gast."

"The late Professor Gast."

"Precisely. Now leave me, and do not speak to me again." She slipped quickly into a side corridor and vanished from sight.

Locke came out of hiding then and grabbed the professor’s arm before he could wander way. "Professor Hojo," he hissed, "you have to tell me what’s going on. What happened to Celes?"

Hojo regarded him inquisitively. His dark eyes, scrutinizing every aspect of the man, were unnerving. "And who are you?"

"Her friend. Please—what’s going on?"

"Surly you know that General Celes is the Mother," he replied simply, pushing his spectacles up his nose. "She’s fulfilling her duty."

"What duty?" he demanded. "Damnit, if you know you have to tell me."

The professor carefully retrieved his arm. "You’re awful nosey, aren’t you? But I don’t know as much as you think. I’ll tell you nothing." He started to walk away.

Locke quickly followed. "Sephiroth did something to her, didn’t he?" He couldn’t accept the professor’s silence—someone had to know the truth. "You said she wasn’t Celes—is Jenova inside her? Is she being controlled? Answer me!"

"As her yourself." Hojo stared back at him with that same pinched smile. "Maybe then you’ll understand the power of Jenova."

"Mog, I must speak with you," Belthasar said, staring down at the creature that stood beside Glenn’s bed. "Have you heard? President Shin-ra is here."

He nodded. "I heard."

"And you’ve been with Celes?"

"Yes." He lifted his slit gaze. "She has the creature inside her."

Belthasar nodded, and said, "I thought as much. I saw her not long ago, and she…well, when she touched my hand I felt something."

"The creature…" The moogle’s ears twitched. "Well," he said brightly, "It’s a good thing I’m not allowed to interfere."

"Mog, we need your help. You know how to help her, don’t you?"

"I can’t say, Kupo." He shrugged. "Fate isn’t my department. Anything that happens will have to be because of them."

Belthasar glared at him. "So you’re willing to risk everything—the fate of the planet—just so that you don’t get involved?"

"I know it sounds like cowardice, but it isn’t. Not really." Mog shook his head. "We moogles are some of the few sacred animals left—like Nanaki, and the chocobos. We can’t use our knowledge to decide fate—you know that. This isn’t a world for holy beings anymore."

The old man sighed wearily, and his eyes drifted to Glenn. He was surprised to find the man watching them. "I can change fate," Glen said in his rough voice; it was noticeably more strained than usual. "I know a way to help the general, for now."

Belthasar leaned closer. "What is it? I won’t let that woman suffer."

"My blood. It can seal Jenova’s powers for a time. My body’s entire purpose is to fight it. Use my blood."

He considered this for a moment, then looked at Mog. The creature said nothing. "I’ll speak to the Professor," he said after a pause. "I don’t trust that man, but he knows more than most of us."

Glenn’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Professor?"

"Professor Hojo from Shin-ra."

"You can’t trust him."

"Yes, but we have no choice." Belthasar started for the door. "I know him personally. I won’t be fooled by him. I’ll speak to him, and then we’ll decide what to do."

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